Thursday, 29 April 2010

Breaking the Bank

I spent yesterday in Richmond with a good friend who is also on maternity leave. We ate a leisurely lunch by the river and walked along sun-kissed Richmond Green. We chatted with our children and each other. The day felt complete.

I have not always felt that completeness, that contentedness for want of searching for my career calling. It’s a journey I’m still taking but am now more comfortable with. As a new mother, I’m acutely conscious that I must lead by example for LLC. I want to show her where there is a will, there is a way.


Like the Richmond riverboats before me
I bob on a sea of contentment
I don’t know what I want to be
When I grow up
But this moment is enough

It wasn’t always this way.

The writing was on the wall
From the job’s location
A high rise building so brimming with stress
It could burst at any moment

Attracted by an academic challenge
To take on what I knew not
I ascended my high rise
And reconciled the spreadsheet
Of my days

Little interpersonal contact
Processing, processing, processing
I ate late night jelly
Courted by domestic illusion
Until I took a taxi back to my own bed

A caged animal
Angry, Angry, Angry
If only I hadn’t been caught
Lugubrious and cynical
I became what I am not

I took a wrong turn
I had to escape
To break free
From the numbers
From my bonus

My head shot above water and I panted for breath.

My career is not set in stone
I saw this as a hindrance
But now see this as an opportunity
To pick up my anchor and set sail
With my aspiration & life’s opportunities


This post was inspired by Sleep is for the Weak’s Writing Workshop, prompt 1: What life path did you take a few steps down only to realise it wasn’t for you and come running back?
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