The last several weeks have passed in a blur – not a bad blur, but a blur all the same. I’m tired, and although we’ve been on the go and I’ve been travelling more than usual for work, this is mainly due to my penchant for going to bed at midnight, 1am and sometimes even later. I’d ask Chris to drag me up the stairs to bed but he’s just as bad as me in this department.
I don’t have time revel in this pregnancy as I did the first time around. I still subscribe to the weekly update emails, but I rarely a spare moment or feel compelled to read them. Pregnancy comes with less of the ‘wonder’ element. My main focus is keeping up with an active toddler! Here are some of our updates:
LLC: Dynamic, opinionated, feisty, affectionate with a rapidly expanding vocabulary and love of the ‘repeat after mama’ game. She’s really into dancing, drumming even though we don’t have a drum set (but with real drum sticks – totally dangerous) and singing ‘Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.’ Our fab friends from Devon just stayed for the weekend with their little toddler and the two girls managed to play and share together with a moderate amount of violence and paddies. Result!
Pregnancy: I’m now at 19 weeks and my bump is definitely bigger than it was at this point with LLC. Alice at More than Toast aptly says this is because the second time around your “abs are shot to shit,” or something like that and I think she’s on the money. Dressing has become a fun game, since many of my regular clothes no longer fit but my old maternity wear is mostly too baggy. It’s getting harder to flip over in bed from one side to the other without feeling like I might pull something and I’ve regularly felt the baby moving about for the last couple of weeks.
Exercise with Bump: Keeping fit is important to me, and issues aside, I plan to keep running until the weather gets too bad, or my bump obstructs my view of my feet! I’ve also re-started pregnancy yoga, which is some lovely, incense fuelled zen time for me. Having solely used yoga breathing as my method of pain relief for LLC, returning to this class was really important to me.
Halloween: American festivity runs through my veins, so I enjoy that Halloween has become more celebrated in the UK. Aside from retailers totally cashing in, I enjoy carving pumpkins and singing witch songs to LLC. It's actually a great creative avenue for kids. We dressed her as pumpkin and she went to her first late-night costume party where she sampled an array of normal and spooky food and chased after balloons before crashing out on her nap-mat.
Work: Very busy. I don’t tend to discuss my job here on the blog but I benefit from working part-time for an employer that affords me lots of opportunity. Things are going well for me in this department though a side affect lately has been an aversion of the computer after hours, cutting in to my blog time and making me fall seriously behind on emails. Sigh.
So that’s life right now. Nothing riveting, but very full. Although I’ve been quite quiet on this blog lately I have lots I’d likely to write about here so hopefully I’ll re-find some sort of balance. Watch this space
Showing posts with label work/life balance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label work/life balance. Show all posts
Sunday, 6 November 2011
Tuesday, 1 February 2011
Inadequate Mother Syndrome
When inadequate mother syndrome strikes I want to bang my head against the wall. In these moments of madness, my heart tells me I’m being stupid but my head just won’t listen and is up for a battle.
Maybe it’s a beginning of the year thing. I take stock of all my “failed to achieves” for 2010 and get overwhelmed about all my goals for 2011. I start to wonder if my time with LLC is 'quality’ enough or more a fraught balancing act of play, laundry and work emails while she naps. On the days I'm not at work, why can’t I get more done, why am I so slow, if I was quicker with my "daily grind" I would have more time just with her without worrying about washing up at the same time. And how do “power moms” seem to achieve “so much” be it at home and/or in the workplace and/or personally as women when I struggle to complete my weekly to do lists?
Okay, now that’s off my chest. This is when I tell myself to get a grip and cut the drivel. Because it’s exactly times like this when I feel down and out and get lost in pointless comparison that I end up wasting perfectly good time that I could be doing something more productive with.
If I know the solution why is it hard to put this into practice? Do I have some sick inclination to knock my confidence? No, I don’t think so. I think I’m just used to focusing more on what I haven’t done than what I have achieved.
But on this dreary February night I’m pleased to say that I’m feeling more empowered. I’m feeling more proud. I’m stepping back from all this white noise in my head and remembering all the things that I do achieve, all the things that create my now balance, all the things that, even if seemingly simple, refute my claims to inadequate mom syndrome.
Alice at Alice’s Adventures into Motherland tagged me in a seven secrets meme so in the context of this post, I’m going to share seven reasons why I’m not doing too bad as a mom all around rather than just seven plain old secrets about me. Then I can go back and read it when I’m being an idiot!
• LLC and I have read together every day of her life – even though I hadn’t been indulging in my love of books until recently, hopefully I’ve helped her discover the joy of reading.
• I dance a lot with LLC. With and for her. We put on Heart or Capital swirl around. Thankfully my lounge is at the back of the house away from public windows! That must be good for the soul!
• I cook all the time for LLC and try hard to help her eat good food. Tonight I spent stewing apple and making chicken balls....
• I work part-time, partly from home, which requires discipline and autonomy. I take pride in my work and hope this strong work ethic will be apparent to and rub off on LLC in time.
• My house is in reasonably clean and in working order. I try to do a bit every day to keep it that way. I hate cleaning the bathroom but I do it every week. I sweep the floors. It’s presentable, and I should get some credit for keeping it that way (with Chris’ help too).
• I run. I did a half marathon last autumn in LLC’s first year. I write. I wish I blogged more but I write more than I ever did. I have ideas for a novel, and a children’s book. I have a lot to give and I'm slowly but surely taking action on the ideas in my head. This blog is a testament to that.
• I talk to LLC about anything and everything. When we are together I always take time to explain our actions and why we can or can’t do something. I always try to help her learn (whether we are playing with flour or her shape sorting bus or reading her table mat of the USA) and every day make her laugh too. I guess I deserve some credit for that.
Do you ever suffer from inadequate mom syndrome and how do you re-gain perspective?
Maybe it’s a beginning of the year thing. I take stock of all my “failed to achieves” for 2010 and get overwhelmed about all my goals for 2011. I start to wonder if my time with LLC is 'quality’ enough or more a fraught balancing act of play, laundry and work emails while she naps. On the days I'm not at work, why can’t I get more done, why am I so slow, if I was quicker with my "daily grind" I would have more time just with her without worrying about washing up at the same time. And how do “power moms” seem to achieve “so much” be it at home and/or in the workplace and/or personally as women when I struggle to complete my weekly to do lists?
Okay, now that’s off my chest. This is when I tell myself to get a grip and cut the drivel. Because it’s exactly times like this when I feel down and out and get lost in pointless comparison that I end up wasting perfectly good time that I could be doing something more productive with.
If I know the solution why is it hard to put this into practice? Do I have some sick inclination to knock my confidence? No, I don’t think so. I think I’m just used to focusing more on what I haven’t done than what I have achieved.
But on this dreary February night I’m pleased to say that I’m feeling more empowered. I’m feeling more proud. I’m stepping back from all this white noise in my head and remembering all the things that I do achieve, all the things that create my now balance, all the things that, even if seemingly simple, refute my claims to inadequate mom syndrome.
Alice at Alice’s Adventures into Motherland tagged me in a seven secrets meme so in the context of this post, I’m going to share seven reasons why I’m not doing too bad as a mom all around rather than just seven plain old secrets about me. Then I can go back and read it when I’m being an idiot!
• LLC and I have read together every day of her life – even though I hadn’t been indulging in my love of books until recently, hopefully I’ve helped her discover the joy of reading.
• I dance a lot with LLC. With and for her. We put on Heart or Capital swirl around. Thankfully my lounge is at the back of the house away from public windows! That must be good for the soul!
• I cook all the time for LLC and try hard to help her eat good food. Tonight I spent stewing apple and making chicken balls....
• I work part-time, partly from home, which requires discipline and autonomy. I take pride in my work and hope this strong work ethic will be apparent to and rub off on LLC in time.
• My house is in reasonably clean and in working order. I try to do a bit every day to keep it that way. I hate cleaning the bathroom but I do it every week. I sweep the floors. It’s presentable, and I should get some credit for keeping it that way (with Chris’ help too).
• I run. I did a half marathon last autumn in LLC’s first year. I write. I wish I blogged more but I write more than I ever did. I have ideas for a novel, and a children’s book. I have a lot to give and I'm slowly but surely taking action on the ideas in my head. This blog is a testament to that.
• I talk to LLC about anything and everything. When we are together I always take time to explain our actions and why we can or can’t do something. I always try to help her learn (whether we are playing with flour or her shape sorting bus or reading her table mat of the USA) and every day make her laugh too. I guess I deserve some credit for that.
Do you ever suffer from inadequate mom syndrome and how do you re-gain perspective?
Thursday, 28 October 2010
Mama, MD & everything in between
Mothers of today are often harsh critics – of ourselves. Whether we work full-time or stay at home full-time or commit to any of the spectrum of career/ at home options in between, our choices are too often accompanied by a dose of guilt and the need to justify our actions.
Too often mothers working full-time feel the need to explain their decision, as if by returning to work they don’t love their children enough. Mothers who stay at home with the kids find it difficult to describe their “career” and feel urged to validate their intelligence and explain why they are not “working”. Mothers who return to a job part-time often worry whether they are getting the balance right.
Why is the modern mother so often wracked by guilt? On one hand, we’re human and susceptible to some guilt or doubt or frustration over the trade-offs we make. What frustrates me, however, is when society makes mothers feel guilty about the career choices we make. We make them for a reason. It may be for our career. It may be for our happiness. It may be for money. It may be for our peace of mind. It may be for any or all of the above and it will be different for each of us.
The important issue, as I see it, is healthy debate with ourselves about the choices that we make to ensure they are the right ones. The ones that make us tick. The ones that empower us to unleash untapped potential rather than feel trapped, as Holly at It’s a Mummy’s Life recently blogged about.
When I see a mother pursuing her chosen “vocation” with conviction and happiness, I’m inspired. When I see a mother who has thrown off the shackles of pre-conception in society for a career path that she wants/needs to do, I say hurrah.
As long as we’re putting some good into the world, why does it matter whether we wear a mama or a professional hat by day? We’re all mothers and love our kids at the end of the day. And when our children look to us as role models, they are sure to be more inspired by women who pursue decisions with confidence rather than express doubt about ourselves and the choices we make.
Too often mothers working full-time feel the need to explain their decision, as if by returning to work they don’t love their children enough. Mothers who stay at home with the kids find it difficult to describe their “career” and feel urged to validate their intelligence and explain why they are not “working”. Mothers who return to a job part-time often worry whether they are getting the balance right.
Why is the modern mother so often wracked by guilt? On one hand, we’re human and susceptible to some guilt or doubt or frustration over the trade-offs we make. What frustrates me, however, is when society makes mothers feel guilty about the career choices we make. We make them for a reason. It may be for our career. It may be for our happiness. It may be for money. It may be for our peace of mind. It may be for any or all of the above and it will be different for each of us.
The important issue, as I see it, is healthy debate with ourselves about the choices that we make to ensure they are the right ones. The ones that make us tick. The ones that empower us to unleash untapped potential rather than feel trapped, as Holly at It’s a Mummy’s Life recently blogged about.
When I see a mother pursuing her chosen “vocation” with conviction and happiness, I’m inspired. When I see a mother who has thrown off the shackles of pre-conception in society for a career path that she wants/needs to do, I say hurrah.
As long as we’re putting some good into the world, why does it matter whether we wear a mama or a professional hat by day? We’re all mothers and love our kids at the end of the day. And when our children look to us as role models, they are sure to be more inspired by women who pursue decisions with confidence rather than express doubt about ourselves and the choices we make.
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