Thursday, 3 June 2010

Goodbye Unfinished Business

Like an itch in the middle of my back just out of reach, it nags me. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth, like drinking orange does after I brush my teeth. It’s looming, but simultaneously intangible. It’s unfinished business.

Frustratingly, this unfinished business is a beast of my own creation. When I’m out and about with LLC, I let go and enjoy, but when we’re at home, I find it hard to put my feet up and read a book while she’s happily batting at Pete the Parrot on her play mat.

Instead, I dash off to do the dishes, to hang out laundry, to do my online banking, to fill out a passport application, to clean the bathroom....often simultaneously and subsequently with half-assed success across the board. My perfectly good day ends but I don’t feel completely satisfied; instead I feel this distant sting of unfinished business.

Kelly at A Place of My Own’s recent post about her need to slow down and take things one step at a time so life didn’t get on top of her really resonated with me. I see a way forward – employ my love of lists, keep my goals for the day limited and realistic, then tackle each to-do one at a time. Think glass half full rather than glass half empty.

Our recent vacation was the wake up call I needed.  I slowed down and relaxed; I didn't focus on what I had not achieved; I didn't have a to-do list a mile long; I went to bed feeling more content.  So I returned determined to part ways with dear unfinished business. I want to set a good example for LLC. I want to feel relieved of this self created pressure. I’m ready to slay the beast, or at least not to feed it. And hopefully if I don’t feed it, it won’t grow.
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