Magic word confusion

LLC has forged her own version of the “magic word:” NO.

It comes out as “noooo,” and almost sounds like a yodel. It’s pretty cute, and because of this it can be easy to forget that she’s repeatedly shunning the affirmative and voicing her opposition, even when the answer clearly is yes!

Cue eye rub. “LLC, are you tired?” “NO!” Okay, I understand, she has already developed a love of being awake and not missing anything.

But then, cue dinner time, and LLC loves her food. “LLC, are you hungry? Let’s go get some dinner.” “NO!” Yet then she’ll reconsider and start using her “eat” sign.

Next cue really bad smell. “LLC, do you need your diaper changed?” “NO!” And then she’ll wander off in the direction of her changing mat.

I’m not sure where “yes” is hiding in her daily expanding vocabulary, but it hasn’t yet come out to play. I wondered if maybe I say no a lot, but I don’t think I do, since at our sing and sign class I also learned the sign for stop and I often use this instead of no when I want her to quit something. I’ve also been trying to respond to negative actions by responding with what a more appropriate positive action would be, as suggested to me in a previous post.

I guess through this phase of NO I must bear in mind the old adage that actions speak louder than words!

Ho, Ho, Ho, Not Long to Go....

With Christmas only a week away and my due date only three, I’m buzzing on a nonalcoholic cocktail of festive spirit, hormones and excitement. I will forever be a sucker for the magic that is Christmas - a time to connect with and give something back to those that you love, heaped in our own special traditions. This year I’m thinking ahead to future Christmas’ with our little lady alongside considering ways to bring the festive season back to basics without breaking my bank. From Christmas dos to food stocking to present shopping, this time of year courts spending sprees that I just can’t afford as a lady of leisure on maternity pay, i.e. a tight budget.

In addition to my credit crunch busting/festivity bursting suggestions from last year, I have some fresh ideas on how to stay jolly on a budget this Christmas, partly inspired by my soon-to-be mommy status:

• Brush up on your Christmas Carols: Even if you sound like a dying cat (like I do), singing some Christmassy tunes should bring a smile to your face when you think of how you’ll soon be teaching the words to your little ones…Jingles Bells and Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer never seemed so appealing
• Go Martha Stewart and create DIY snowflakes and wreaths: These projects will cost you next to nothing, are green, festive and not too complex for little ones to help with. I’ll have some time before our little lady can lend a hand, but I need the practice. Stay green and cut snowflakes from paper from your recycling bin. Compost the green odds and ends you don’t use for your wreath. For a ton more Christmas crafty links, check out One Pretty Thing.
• Recycle your old Christmas cards for gift tags: Garish gift tags can sell for highway robbery and they’re just one more thing to buy – why not cut out the fronts of your Christmas cards post holiday and save them as your gift tags for the next year?
• When you’re shopping, shop smart: Sort your coupons, shop online through a cash back scheme like KidStart that allows you to save for your child’s future, join Parenting Clubs to cash in on holiday offers, shop second hand via Ebay, Nappy Valley and in charity shops, shop around…
• Introduce Secret Santa: If present shopping for extended family or a group of friends is getting too pricey, put everyone’s name in a hat and draw names for the one person you will buy for. Set a reasonable price limit and enjoy major savings.
• Fruit Cake Doesn’t Have to be Taboo: If you want to give a little back to someone that has been particularly helpful this year, don’t reach for your cash or your plastic. Perfect a holiday Christmas recipe and Voila!, you have a tasty, easy gift that can be made in batches. My mom makes apple raisin bread that has been receiving compliments for years. I used to help her with it as a child and now am making it myself today. Start the kids in the kitchen early I say!
• Invite friends over for a pot luck supper: I hear I won't have time to cook let alone shower during my early days with a newborn.  Even with young kids, putting together a dinner party sounds like it could be stressful.  Why not mix dinner parties up with pot luck meals where friends bring their own festive dishes.  You provide the venue, guests provide the culinary mix.  Result = fun night for all that doesn't require a hefty supermarket bill.
  
• Little one on the way?  Make sure you are aware of all the government "gifts" you are entitled to: I've previously posted about benefits for parents but a good overview those available in the UK can be found on Payments for Parents.
  
• Make decorating your tree a family tradition: Chris and I were really excited to put on Christmas CD, string our lights and adorn our 4 ft glory. We try to get one new ornament each year and keep track of where it’s from/why it’s special to us. Our trees tell a growing story over the years that we will share with and add to with our little one. It makes for quality family time and stirs up some great memories.
  

Though I’m hoping to keep our bun in the oven until 2010, the prospect of Christmas as a parent gives me a thrill and I’m struck by the responsibility we’ll have to create a jolly caroling, cookie eating, spirit of giving magic for our little lady that she can carry with her for always. I believed in Santa until later than I’d like to admit. I sang Christmas carols in my shrill little voice in medley formation with the gusto of Diana Ross (as my dad kindly reminds me through an audio clip – evidence – that I can’t hide even if I’d like to). I understand that Christmas is a time to give back to those I care about, not just receive, and that this can be done largely through custom, creativity and without buying up the high street.

Loving the List; Drowning in the Detail; Reconnecting with Reality

This week I've been on a quest to get organized and attend to some baby admin. I keep saying I want to gradually get the ball rolling with making baby purchases, arranging refurbishments at home and sorting out admin like my Health in Pregnancy Grant and official MAT B1 notice at work. Armed with my handy, dandy but lengthy list, my quest for progress began.

Things started on a high note. At my midwife appointment last Friday the nice midwife agreed to pass on my Health in Pregnancy Grant form at our next appointment since I'll then be over 25 weeks pregnant. This one-off, £190 tax-free payment is a "gift" from the Government to help mom's to be with the costs of preparing for a baby. She also gave me my MAT B1 form, which I've now submitted to HR at work in order claim my statutory maternity pay. Statutory UK maternity leave and pay policies for working moms are much more extensive than the narrow and limited American maternity support policies available. In fact, earlier this week the BBC ran a quickie article on a new proposed policy for extending paternity leave, another testament to the flexible support options available in the UK. Catch up USA - for all the talk we ladies receive about education, pursuing our dreams and equality of opportunity, the Government doesn't make it an easy ride for professional moms that want to start a family.

But I digress. I put a big fat CHECK next to "Health in Pregnancy Grant" and "Submit MAT B1 form" on my list.

Next I called the window people, who quoted us earlier this year to redo 3 single glazed windows in our house. This is a necessary job before baby arrives being that last winter our thin windows grew a beautiful green/brown mold and our window sills developed pools of condensation that regularly soaked through hand towels. Yes, we need new windows. Anyway, this company provided a good quote earlier this year so I told the window man I wanted the same price or better, and that we were expecting our first baby and would be getting the job done by his company at the right price, or someone else. So I secured a date for new windows, and a good deal. CHECK next to "Book in window guys!"

Then things took a turn for the worse as the inevitably do when I start to delve into the pits of baby retail therapy. The next items on my ambitious list included "see if bugaboo carrycot fits other Moses Basket stands," "look for a mattress and bedding to fit cot/bed," "look into breast pumps and associated paraphernalia," "decide what items to buy on trip to USA....." and so on. I should have anticipated this would be too wide a net to cast all at once because before I knew it, I was tangled in information overload and struggling to make sense of the myriad of options in all of the above departments. It made me tired and it made my head hurt. There are just so many options when all I want is a simple check list of "what's I NEED and what's the BEST to buy." Forget different strokes for different folks - I want a manual to baby shopping enlightenment!

.....Advent, Madela, electric, manual, cheap, pricey...breast pumps. Should I buy, should I rent, do I need one if I'm planning on breast feeding but want to express milk from time to time? Cot bed mattresses.......why are there like 20 kinds that range in price from £40 to over £200?! Since Lansinoh nipple cream gets rave reviews on both sides of the pond and costs the same in ££ and $$, should I stock up on it while in the USA....should I throw in breast pads while I'm at it?!........

Am I boring you? I was boring and winding up myself. Finally I had to shut the Internet down and step away from all online baby retail options. Since I spread my attentions in so many different directions, I was confused and not able to make any more CHECKs off my list.

I'm like a wind up toy - wind me up and watch me go, then I collapse and then later I'm still and sane again. In the wake of my retail research I had a comforting chat with pregnant B (who is less than a week away now!) and Chris who both let me vent and helped bring me back to reality. Now I feel fine. Yet another ebb and flow of this pregnancy roller coaster. I think my error is that I tend to take on too many things all at once, short circuiting in the process. I think I need to do my research one step at a time, and maybe strike a few "to dos" off my list for the time being. Ayeyeye......

Belly, Blues and Benefits

I'm going to blame the frightening nature of this picture as the reason that it took me so long to get it posted online! Note to self: remember to take belly shot in the morning when freshly dressed and looking put together, not before bed! That's my cat Rico I'm holding. I think he leaped out of my arms about a second after this shot was taken! As you can see, I don't really have a baby bump yet but my waist is inflating.... If you see me every day or know me well, you might notice but I don't think you would if you walked past me on the street. I went to pregnant B's flat on Saturday night and feasted a fantastic dinner, however in the midst of stuffing my face I started to feel really bloated. This sometimes happens now if I eat a lot in one sitting. I suspect this is only going to happen more as my insides get squished together.

When I was walking to the train station after work, I started feeling down. I'm not really sure why. I'll blame it on the hormones. My post-work walk is usually a time for me to peacefully unwind, but today I began reviewing the "administrative logistics" of our post baby life.....the financials, returning to work, child care, etc. All things Chris and I have thought about and planned for, but today it all seemed a overwhelming. Then I remembered that I left our car on the other side of town by a different train station since I went to the dentist this morning. So did I go on longer train ride and get the car, or just head home and hope I could convince Chris to take his evening run to the car to bring it home? Then my phone went dead. Then my work XDA went dead. So I couldn’t call Chris to discuss. Why all this got to me, I don't know, but in the moment, it did. So what did I do? I made a spur of the moment beeline into a candy shop and bought some candy. Ah the power of a cherry truffle. Then I bought a vanilla shake from Burger King. Then I stopped thinking and felt a little better. Then I remembered what I'd just eaten and felt like a pig. I'm not sure why I'm sharing this - I guess it's honest insight into my wacked out thought patterns.....again, I'll blame this all on my raging hormones.

On the issue of financials, I've been doing some research on the financial support options I may qualify for while on maternity leave. Chris and I both work, and even though I should receive statutory maternity pay (SMP) for up to 39 weeks, we'll have a bit of a financial hole where my salary used to be. Here is my quick overview of the financial support available to new moms/dads in the UK. (Looking beyond SMP, paternity pay and maternity allowance). Some or all may apply to you, though note this is my quick digest and full official details can be found by surfing the links below.

* £190 Health in Pregnancy Grant: available to all pregnant moms. Get a claim form from your midwife at your 25 week appointment, ensure the midwife fills out her part of the form and then make your claim as instructed on the form within 31 days.

* Child Benefit: available to all parents with children up to 16, or 18 if still in full-time education. You'll receive £20/week for your first child and a bit less for subsequent kids. You should receive a claim form in the hospital once your baby is born or you can download it online. Make this claim as soon as your baby is born!

* Child Trust Fund (CTF): £250 voucher from the Government that you can invest on behalf of your child. It is for your child only, but can't be touched until they are 18. Once you register for Child Benefit, you will receive the CTF voucher.

* Salary Sacrifice/Childcare Vouchers: You can elect that the first £55/week of your salary can be converted to childcare vouchers free of National Insurance and tax. (You will then pay NI and tax on your reduced salary)

* Child Tax Credit: Paid out if your household income falls below £66,350 for a child under one or £58,175 for children over one. It is based on your household income from the previous tax year, but will be adjusted to account for your reduced salary while on maternity leave (ie, if your income is usually over the bracket but falls under while you are on mat leave, you can make this claim)

* Working Tax Credit: Additional tax credit for families on with low household incomes. More details site listed above for Child Tax Credit.

* Sure Start Maternity Grant: One off payment for families on low incomes. A number of conditions apply that you can read about on this link.