Night Terrors

The high octave of her cry jolted us from sleep. I picture whispers in black and white; this sound surged in red hot color yet made me shiver at the same time. This was not the quiet cry of a sleepy bad dream, this was pure terror.

Our lethargy evaporated and we made for her crib where she sat shaking, face contorted fear, shrieking. We scooped her up, attempting to hold her close but she refused the comfort of our cuddle. As if possessed, she stared straight ahead, lips quivering and then parting into a scream every several seconds.

I waved my hand in front of her delicate, trembling face but she stared through it, eyes open though clearly not awake. Our hearts pounded with adrenaline, worry and fear. It was unsettling to see her in the trance of so gripping a nightmare. How to ward it off without startling her? Cue gentle back rubbing, shh shh shh sounds and soft murmurs of “It’s okay LLC.”

And then, her screams stopped as suddenly as they started. Her eyes re-focused on us and she smiled, and returned our cuddle. She soon went back to bed only to wake three hours later in a similar state, after which she spent the rest of the night in our bed sleeping soundly.

I’d class this, as they in the UK, as a night terror. I don’t think we use this term in the States but I’m not sure. But it was certainly a nightmare of the highest proportions.

Do children’s dreams derive from their experiences / perceptions? Did something happen during the day that unsettled LLC? I don’t know but I hope we don’t we don’t have to investigate this again anytime soon.

Have you ever had a run in with the night terrors?

All Too Much

I don’t usually think of LLC as a sensitive soul. She’s robust, a tough cookie, more likely to cry because she is frustrated or wants something she can’t get than because something scares or startles her.

Yesterday, however, this was not the case. We were visiting some of our NCT friends and LLC all of a sudden burst into tears while on the play mat with a couple of her buddies. I think it was the movement or sound of a toy that set her off, but out of the blue, off she went. Waa waa waaaaaa!

This set off one of her little friends and we were treated to a cacophony of waaaas while we quickly provided conciliatory cuddles. LLC wore a horrified face with big fat tears rolling down her cheeks. Oh those real tears, they break my heart. Then, as if carried away by a sudden gust of wind, her mood shifted and life was again rosy.

I think tiredness exacerbates LLC’s mood swings, so maybe her tears were linked to the nap we cut short when arriving at our friend’s house. Maybe she is becoming more aware of the other babies and is more likely to be responsive to them. Maybe this sensitivity is yet another dimension of her emerging personality. Maybe she just needed a little cry – she is a baby after all.

While a relatively insignificant incident, this made me wonder what adventures are to come as the babies start to come into their own and play side by side. How long will they take to really interact? Will they set each other off, and will we be in for more giggles, or more tears? Will I be effective at teaching LLC about sharing, and being gentle towards others (as opposed to hair pulling and face clawing, two favourite pastimes she’s recently mastered)?

LLC is generally quickly at ease around new people and busy social situations but how will her reactions shift as she starts to play a more active part in the world around her? Only time will tell....

“One Baby in the Bed and the Little One Said….”

Roll Over, Roll Over!

So LLC rolled over and she fell out! And I caught her in my arms mid-fall but she kept tumbling down….

Yup, I’ve been told it would happen, I’ve caught her and made the save on two previous attempts but yesterday LLC was just too quick for me.

I laid her in the center of my bed, partially surrounded by pillows and partially surrounded by laundry while I put some of this clothing away. I averted my eyes for a couple of seconds to stick some sports bras in a box under the bed when it happened…..

I raised my eyes just in time to see LLC rotating off the bed with the swiftness and ease of a baker’s rolling pin. Cue slow motion, while I leapt forward and attempted to catch her in mid-air but her momentum carried her off my arms and onto the carpet with hearty thump.

Pause.

Wahhhhh! WAHHHHH!

Soft barriers used to be a match for her roll but those days are clearly no more. I should have seen the writing on the wall recently when I left her in her bedroom on a rug and returned a few minutes later to find her half-way across the wooden floorboards near her crib. She has always been a kicker, a wriggler, tiny but with tremendous energy that now may invite folly if I’m not careful on her behalf.

My immediate reaction was to scoop her up, give her a once over to check for bumps and bruises, cuddle her and dance with her in front of her bedroom fan. Its whoosh whoosh gradually calmed her cries and my thumping heart.

Next came guilt. I shouldn’t have left her on the bed like that. There had been two previous close calls. What if there wasn’t carpet on the floor or if I hadn’t broken her fall. Just as stress started to escape my brain and seep through my veins, I heard….

Hah ha haha ha ha hahahaha!

I looked down to find LLC smiling up at me, accident forgotten. All she wanted was her mommy’s attention. So I shook off guilt and returned her grin, accident not forgotten, but lesson learned.

This post is for Josie’s Writing Workshop, prompt 1: Disaster! Tell us when a best laid plan went spectacularly wrong…

A Day at the Races

A day at the races, or better said, The Race - The 2010 London Marathon.  Bursting with inspirational runners and emotional crowds, this grand race yet again rallied London with a magnetism like no other and proved an exciting day out for LLC and me.  

Two short years ago I finally pulled my finger out and completed the London Marathon after years of running regularly.  In fact, my marathon mission partially contributed to my starting this blog.  It was a real achievement for me and an electric experience but alas, I'm not one of those who "catches the marathon bug" after one under my belt.

This year was Chris' turn.  He's a strong runner with a healthy pace even when he doesn't run regularly; he's gotten into triathlons over the last couple of years; his fitness level is generally pretty good.  Yet I still thought he was slightly nuts to commit to training for a marathon during our early days with LLC.

He needed the support of his girls on the day.  So we bundled LLC into her carrier and she and I took to the course.  We met a lovely Scottish fellow cheering on his wife near the start but unfortunately missed Chris in the initial mad dash.  We then hightailed it over to the Cutty Sark where we cheered on many a runner but again never spotted Chris.  I fed her and we next took the train to Charing Cross and scouted out a ideal viewpoint on Victoria Embankment to "cheer daddy home."  I felt like I had just run a marathon.  My shoulders ached.  Yet I told LLC that we'd definitely catch daddy from this perfect position on the home stretch.

It was about that time that LLC conked out.  She'd been very alert throughout the day but no doubt had her fill of sensory overload.  She slept peacefully through the commotion and the heat of the growing crowd at our back until - bam! - she awoke with an almighty start and went into meltdown.  We were pinned in by people.  And I expected Chris any time in the next half hour or so if he was to achieve his sub-four hour goal.  (Yes, he sets his sights high).  I tried bouncing, ssshhing and stripping a layer off LLC, all to no avail.  The pensioner to my left's stare screamed judgement to the likes of  "Why do you have such a young baby in the heat of this marathon commotion?"

So I pulled out the final trump card in my bag of tricks - my breast.  Down I squatted behind the barrier, out of the carrier and into my arms came LLC, into my jacket I adjusted my top and presto - silent, happy, feeding baby!  Muslin in place, up I popped, back in the game, eyes searching for Chris.

We waited.  And waited.  And I began getting nervous Chris would not make his sub-four hour goal.   

Then my phone rang.  It was Chris.  He was finished.  Somehow we missed him.  Well, not somehow really... from his finish time we worked out that he must have run by just as I was squatting behind the barrier getting my boob out.  

But nevermind.  We supported him in spirit and he triumphed with a finish time of 3 hours 36 minutes.  LLC could not have been prouder of her dad, or of her Uncle Tom who also came home in under 4 hours, as you can see from these photos.  She could not wait to get the weight of gold in her hot little hand!

These portraits are for this week's Sticky Fingers Gallery.

What a Production!

Walks in the stroller used to = sleeping, peaceful baby. Alas, those days are no more.

LLC fell asleep in her pram before I left the house and I made the mistake of delaying my errand-running walk in favor of a mad dash dance with the laundry and dirty dishes. Mission accomplished, I grabbed my jacket and approached my sleeping baby’s chariot only to discover that she was no longer asleep.

No problem, I thought. She’s due a much longer nap than this and once we getting rolling, she’ll be out like a light. And thus my new mummy error…

For roll we did but sleep she did not. With each step I took, her perky little eyes only seemed to get perkier rather than heavy with sleep. Cue small strong kicking legs, head manically turning from side to side and then, then her signature waa waa waa of protest.  I didn't have my camera at the time, but she looked something like this....

I stopped in a coffee shop and fed her once I realized that nap-time was a distant memory as she was due a feed post nap. This calmed her but her contentment proved short-lived for no sooner did I put her back in the stroller than her protests began again.

Geez. If LLC’s not sleeping during our walks she’s usually at least content. She’d been fed, changed and felt the right temperature. What was the matter? I chatted to her in soothing tones. Then I shuddered at the thought of joining the post office during this thunderstorm.

I tilted back the hood of LLC’s stroller and started to talk her through our movements. We’re just nearing the post office little one. Mommy needs to send a couple of packages. Yes, we’re by all the shops. This is where you usually sleep but today you can see all the people shopping. Mama needs you to quiet down when we go inside….

As I spoke her cries softened, only to return at full blast when I discourse. Ayeyeye. So I parked the stroller and picked her up for a cuddle. Instant silence.

Her eyes darted around the high street with hungry curiosity, registering the surrounding action. So I chatted to her more about this scene but then explained I’d now have to return her to her stroller.

Waa Waa Waa. I walked on. Then picked her up. Then put her down only for her to cry again. The cycle kept repeating itself. All she wanted was to be out of that stroller, observing and learning. Unfortunately for her, I couldn’t navigate the post office with packages, pram and baby in hand.

Oh, her spirit! It grows as she does. I’m so happy for that, but it made going to that post office a pretty stressful, embarrassing and trying experience.