Friday 27 May 2011

Dear So and So....

I’m long overdue some post card therapy, a la Kat’s Dear So and So party. So with a flourish, here goes:

Dear Kitchen Floor,

Well, we’ve developed quite the relationship. If someone told me a year ago I’d spend my days crawling around and rubbing you down with a baby wipe daily I’d have told them to go jump out a window. Little did I know what the aftermath of LLC dinner-time would bring.

I stand corrected,

Servant Mama

*

Dear Oblivious I-pod Wearing Pretty Young Thing,

When you’re crossing the road next to a mother with a stroller, don’t cut her off as you reach the sidewalk. I admit, I don’t always walk straight but your veering antics managed to barricade us from the sidewalk just as the traffic started to move. Lucky for us the commuters weren’t in too much of a hurry.

Bring some reality into your reverie,

One cross mother

*

Dear Inch Blue / Robeez / See Kai Run baby children’s shoe manufacturers,

Bloggers and friends recommended you to me and now I see why. Why are your children’s shoes so adorable? Are you trying to wreak havoc with my bank balance? We just managed to buy LLC her first pair of outdoor shoes today. They cost the same as a pair of sandals I purchased for myself, however they’ll last her for 3 months where my sandals will probably last me three years. And you now offer me a fine host of both indoor and outdoor shoes, which are not all pink?!

Where’s my debit card,

A girl who can’t afford to shop like this

*

Dear telemarketers,

When are you going to call up and say that you can save me some money? And do you really think you’ll win my custom calling at dinner-time?

Save your breathe,

You lost this Customer

*

Dear Jamie Oliver,

I don’t know who at your empire came up with this bath milk, but it is pure bliss. LLC is not the only one who likes a good bath around here, and you have made my last evening soak all the more enjoyable.

Loving it,

One clean, calm lady

*

Dear LLC,

What a surprise to find that strange video on my phone. I wasn’t sure what it was at first, but then I realized it was the palm of your hand as you went about your business, chatting on my mobile. At least it wasn’t an international call. And you did sound so cute!

Love,

Mommy

*

Dear Fairy Hobmother,

You visited me from Appliances Online, who sell cookers, dishwashers (ahhh I wish) and pretty much every major appliance under the sun to surprise me with £10 Amazon voucher, and I love Amazon! Hopefully you will pay another visit to one of the readers who comments on this post.

Thanks again,

Tanya
blog comments powered by Disqus