Showing posts with label letters. Show all posts
Showing posts with label letters. Show all posts

Friday, 27 May 2011

Dear So and So....

I’m long overdue some post card therapy, a la Kat’s Dear So and So party. So with a flourish, here goes:

Dear Kitchen Floor,

Well, we’ve developed quite the relationship. If someone told me a year ago I’d spend my days crawling around and rubbing you down with a baby wipe daily I’d have told them to go jump out a window. Little did I know what the aftermath of LLC dinner-time would bring.

I stand corrected,

Servant Mama

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Dear Oblivious I-pod Wearing Pretty Young Thing,

When you’re crossing the road next to a mother with a stroller, don’t cut her off as you reach the sidewalk. I admit, I don’t always walk straight but your veering antics managed to barricade us from the sidewalk just as the traffic started to move. Lucky for us the commuters weren’t in too much of a hurry.

Bring some reality into your reverie,

One cross mother

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Dear Inch Blue / Robeez / See Kai Run baby children’s shoe manufacturers,

Bloggers and friends recommended you to me and now I see why. Why are your children’s shoes so adorable? Are you trying to wreak havoc with my bank balance? We just managed to buy LLC her first pair of outdoor shoes today. They cost the same as a pair of sandals I purchased for myself, however they’ll last her for 3 months where my sandals will probably last me three years. And you now offer me a fine host of both indoor and outdoor shoes, which are not all pink?!

Where’s my debit card,

A girl who can’t afford to shop like this

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Dear telemarketers,

When are you going to call up and say that you can save me some money? And do you really think you’ll win my custom calling at dinner-time?

Save your breathe,

You lost this Customer

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Dear Jamie Oliver,

I don’t know who at your empire came up with this bath milk, but it is pure bliss. LLC is not the only one who likes a good bath around here, and you have made my last evening soak all the more enjoyable.

Loving it,

One clean, calm lady

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Dear LLC,

What a surprise to find that strange video on my phone. I wasn’t sure what it was at first, but then I realized it was the palm of your hand as you went about your business, chatting on my mobile. At least it wasn’t an international call. And you did sound so cute!

Love,

Mommy

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Dear Fairy Hobmother,

You visited me from Appliances Online, who sell cookers, dishwashers (ahhh I wish) and pretty much every major appliance under the sun to surprise me with £10 Amazon voucher, and I love Amazon! Hopefully you will pay another visit to one of the readers who comments on this post.

Thanks again,

Tanya

Sunday, 5 September 2010

Dear LLC

Dear LLC,

You’ve grown so much already in your 7.5 months. I see other newborn babies and while I remember you this way, I’m sad that the vividness of these moments will fade somewhat with time. I’m doing my best to enjoy the potency of our every day, while freeze framing certain moments in my heart, banking them in my mind, innate riches that I’ll carry with me always.

Hopefully these little gems will help me prevent feeling as though life is accelerating faster than I can appreciate it. Today I remember this:

We sit together in the living room. You’re on all fours raking at our rickety old fire guard, a precarious adornment that we don’t want to get rid of but probably should hook to the wall. I turn you around and like a tractor beam you’re drawn to our stereo remote. You taste it, but it’s not so tasty. You’ve rotated yet again and now have hold of daddy’s baseball, which sat cradled in the cavity of a floor candle. You knock the candle on its side and pursue the rolling ball with your arm. You’re intent on touching all you should not touch, fascinated by all that is my ordinary. The bald patch on the back of your head is finally fading. You’re wearing green trousers, sized 3 months. You’re chatting to the ball, ba ba ba. You’ve now got hold of the Devon rock from JBT with your name on it and are pushing it around the base of the fire guard alongside the ball. I decide that it’s time to scoop you up and kiss you and my hear t sings.

Love,

Mommy

(Do you freeze frame memories too?)

Friday, 23 April 2010

Dear Sleepless Smiler....

Kat at 3 Bedroom Bungalow’s Dear So and So Series has tonight inspired me….

Dear Sleepless Smiler,

Why have you decided that 3:30am is the new wake-up time? You used to get up around 7am and mommy much preferred this. I need to care for you all day and I’ll have no energy left to play if I’m up for a good part of the night with you. Frustratingly, you are still so smiley and cute even in the midst of your late night antics but never mind that. Nighttime is for sleep!

Love,

Your tired mom

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Dear Health Visitor,

No, I’m not going to express milk after every feed in order to further stimulate my milk supply. I do have a life.

LLC’s growth is slow but steady and she’s alert, happy and has plenty of wet nappies. She may be on the second percentile weight line – some baby has to be – and she just happens to be that girl. Please don’t mess with my head and make me think I don’t have enough milk.

Thanks a bunch,

One frustrated milk maiden

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Dear Mr & Mrs Misery,

You're new to my road and already have our local neighborhood aloofness down to a tee. When we pass on the road and I attempt to make eye contact and smile, please don’t turn around. I won’t bite and I won’t even hold you up for five minutes chatting. I just want to say hello.

Consider it,

Tanya

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Dear Thermostat,

Seriously, there is no way it’s 21 degrees in this house! Are the lights in the hallway invoking your tom-foolery? Please reflect the actual temperature so Chris will agree to turn on the heating at night.

Your chilly resident,

Tanya

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Dear big woman and small woman chatting outside the elevator after Rhyme Time,

If you don’t call the elevator, it won’t come! Your presence alone is not enough to beckon the lift and you are holding up the entire line of mummies trying to get on with their day. A tad bit of common sense would be appreciated.

Hope not to see you later,

One tired and not amused mommy

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Dear Readers,

I’m grateful that this blog has been nominated in a few categories of the MAD Awards. I really enjoy writing it and it's a honor to see that others enjoy the read.  If you also like my style, please cast a vote my way.

Thanks in advance,

Tanya

How cathartic!