Back from the brink

At times like this I’m my own worst enemy
Why did my inner demons come out to play?
To dither and scold
To time waste and wallow
To tie my hands and mind as time ticked away

On the losing side of life’s tug of war
My confidence stumbled and fell
To unanswered emails and unfinished writing
Sink full of dishes and work tasks piling
A sense of defeat was difficult to quell

Why haven’t I
Migrated this blog
Made those homemade rusks
Written that novel I’ve been brewing
Pressed flowers with LLC
Mailed my already overdue cards
Planted some vegetables in the garden
And on and on and on.........

And why does everyone else
Seem so much more creative, crafty and put together than me?
And how does everyone else
Find the time?
Maybe they just get on with things and be?

I shouldn’t compare
But sometimes I do
I should take more productive action
Not get lost in futile, thought
That thwarts progress and leaves me to stew

Then I hear her
“Mamamamamama”
Then I see her
A drunken run
Then I come up for air
From my inner doldrums
And she hugs me tight
And brings me back to reality

Reminds me of what I have achieved
And all I have to give
As a woman in my own right
As a positive example for her
If I’d just get on and live

***

After all, we are in the process of buying a new house, I was recently paid a nice compliment by my boss following some successes at work, Chris was thrilled with the birthday card LLC and I finger painted for him and LLC and I managed to make it back to the pool this week for a swim together. Life is good and I won’t lose sight of that.

Maybe it was just one of those days?