Night Terrors

The high octave of her cry jolted us from sleep. I picture whispers in black and white; this sound surged in red hot color yet made me shiver at the same time. This was not the quiet cry of a sleepy bad dream, this was pure terror.

Our lethargy evaporated and we made for her crib where she sat shaking, face contorted fear, shrieking. We scooped her up, attempting to hold her close but she refused the comfort of our cuddle. As if possessed, she stared straight ahead, lips quivering and then parting into a scream every several seconds.

I waved my hand in front of her delicate, trembling face but she stared through it, eyes open though clearly not awake. Our hearts pounded with adrenaline, worry and fear. It was unsettling to see her in the trance of so gripping a nightmare. How to ward it off without startling her? Cue gentle back rubbing, shh shh shh sounds and soft murmurs of “It’s okay LLC.”

And then, her screams stopped as suddenly as they started. Her eyes re-focused on us and she smiled, and returned our cuddle. She soon went back to bed only to wake three hours later in a similar state, after which she spent the rest of the night in our bed sleeping soundly.

I’d class this, as they in the UK, as a night terror. I don’t think we use this term in the States but I’m not sure. But it was certainly a nightmare of the highest proportions.

Do children’s dreams derive from their experiences / perceptions? Did something happen during the day that unsettled LLC? I don’t know but I hope we don’t we don’t have to investigate this again anytime soon.

Have you ever had a run in with the night terrors?

Busy Bees

It’s been all go in our neck of the woods....and beyond.

The week following our Cornwall vacation, LLC and I supported Chris take part in the Blenheim Triathlon. It felt like we deserved a prize in our own right for running around and cheering Chris on during each leg of the event. We’re getting skilled at beings daddy’s cheerleaders and he managed a personal best. All this supporting has me itching to book into a 10K or half marathon for later this year.

The following morning we trekked to the American Embassy in Grosvenor Square to file for LLC’s American Citizenship. Note to any fellow Americans travelling to the current London US Embassy with children: it has no ramps or lifts (very helpful when you have a stroller!) Come with another adult if you can.

Then Grandma S came to visit from Dorset for a few days and showered LLC with extra cuddles and attention. One afternoon the three of us drove to Sevenoaks for afternoon tea with LLC’s great grandma F, thus celebrating four generations of our family women under one roof!

Last Friday, Chris took the day off and we drove to Devon to spend the week with some of our dear friends Family H. We always love these trips but this last one was particularly memorable as it was LLC’s first trip to Devon and our first trip to Family H since their little girl arrived seven weeks after LLC.

I now understand, for real, that navigating parenthood is no small task and adjusting to life with a baby is wonderful and manageable but also scary and hard at times too. Having good friends simultaneously ride this wave has been exciting and supportive. We share tips and war stories, reflect on how the dynamics of our life have shifted and remind each other that we’re doing pretty damn well.

The seven-week age difference between LLC and Baby I made for interesting observation at this early stage; if I moved an object back and forth between them Baby I would follow it with her eyes while LLC now follows with her head as well. LLC chatters and shrieks a bit more but Baby I is already coming into her own with gurgles and softer sounds. It’s a reminder how each week brings so much right now.

So this weekend our before babies “four-way” became a “six-way”. The weekend proved better than ever, aside from LLC’s Friday night breakdown that kept Chris and me (and fortunately not Family H) up for a good portion of the night. We had a BBQ, took a couple of walks, caught up as we always do – at times like these, I feel that we really are rolling out that new life balance I often speak of and I’m loving it.

Holiday - Celebrate!

Picture me singing this fab disco hit by Madonna. Actually don’t, because if you know my singing voice you’ll cringe at this image and stop reading (unless you are my innocent and faithful LLC).

As the song says, if we took a holiday…took some time to celebrate…..

We did. Well, we are. As of last Friday we’ve been enjoying a getaway in sunny Cornwall.

I dipped into some of the tips Young Mummy received from bloggers when preparing to holiday abroad with her hubby and young twins (worth checking out). Well travelled BG passed on some helpful hints from her vacations with Small V (put LLC to bed as normal and then take her out to dinner sleeping in the stroller). This  recon on board, we packed our bags (on Thursday night in tribute to my dear friend procrastination) and set off for Heathrow early Friday morning.

No, we weren’t flying to Cornwall, just picking up my parents who have joined us on LLC’s first vacation. The volcanic ash remained at bay so we met mom and dad and headed for our quaint and cosy rented cottage in the West Country.

We’ve taken a coastal hike with LLC in the Baby Bjorn, visited the slightly garish but noteworthy Lands End, climbed the stunning St Michael’s Mount, danced onstage at the cliffside Minack Theatre, and eaten tasty food and Cornish delights like clotted cream and ice cream (how could I resist when the region is known for them?!) and I’m relieved to report that it’s all going well. LLC has adjusted to some long car journeys, busy days and an overall shift in circumstance with gurgles, grace and limited tears. Maybe her innate preference is to be breastfed in beauty spots like the hill overlooking St Mawes castle, the sea-cliff at the base of St Michael’s Mount and the Minack Theatre’s central box?

We’ve had our moments of madness – two nights where LLC kept waking and crying and subsequently feeding and a couple of meltdowns in the car – but how can I not expect this from a four-month old who we’ve swept on a whirlwind adventure?

Some things I’ve discovered about road trips/vacation with baby:

• Extra hands work a treat – we don’t get to spend enough time with my parents and they are psyched for quality time with their first grandchild. Yes, sometimes I get pissy at my mom’s advice but overall she is wise, and they’ve not only helped us with LLC throughout the day but allowed us some rare and valued alone time too.
• Think ahead about feed times when taking a long journey – whether you feed at set times or more varied windows like me, when travelling six plus hours in the car a tactical plan of where/when to do feeds may save you from tears
• Invest in a baby carrier and then don’t forget it – Carriers and slings are a hot commodity these days as they enable mama/baby closeness and free hands. When sightseeing with a small baby, they also facilitate easy exploring of old fortresses with Cliffside stairs and rocky paths. Don’t do a Tanya and forget your carrier when climbing St Michael’s Mount unless you want an extra hard upper body workout.
• If you’re on the go, bring a spare lightweight diaper bag – I’m not advocating adding another frivolous item to the arsenal of baby luggage – I’ve found it practical to have an empty bag that I can chuck bare essentials into for our long walks (changing mat, diaper, wipes and cloth). My regular diaper bag, always fully stocked with a spare outfit, multiple nappies, muslins, bibs, and my crap would probably break my back.
• Think strategically about where you stay, even if you have access to a car – if you want to head out for dinner with a sleeping baby, think about staying in an area where you can walk to a town with places to eat. We’re staying in lovely cottage but it’s in a village with limited options, so if we want to venture further afield, we need to navigate more transfers that might disrupt the peace
• Do laundry – I’m learning that baby clothes have a fast turnover due to a daily detonation of either drool, poop or puke. If you have access to a washing machine, seriously lighten your load by doing a load of laundry instead of packing a gazillion outfits
• If breastfeeding, don’t forget to dress accordingly just because you are on vacation – I got excited by yet another sunny day this morning and almost trotted out the door in a tank top that would not have easily allowed nursing.
• Buy some baby SPF shades – Lathered in sun block and donning a sun hat, we thought we’d prepared LLC to face the coastal sun but the realized her little eyes were constantly squinting. Some Baby-Ban sunglasses helped sort out that issue and now protect her baby browns…

So we’re holidaying and celebrating and the week is proving active but relaxing at the same time. It feels good to get away from home where I always feel there is something I need to be doing and often don’t just chill out. It’s been refreshing to be outdoors and even away from the computer. It’s been really nice to see my mom and dad and vacation again as a family.

What are your holiday triumphs? What tips can you share that made the vacation a success?

Dear Sleepless Smiler....

Kat at 3 Bedroom Bungalow’s Dear So and So Series has tonight inspired me….

Dear Sleepless Smiler,

Why have you decided that 3:30am is the new wake-up time? You used to get up around 7am and mommy much preferred this. I need to care for you all day and I’ll have no energy left to play if I’m up for a good part of the night with you. Frustratingly, you are still so smiley and cute even in the midst of your late night antics but never mind that. Nighttime is for sleep!

Love,

Your tired mom

*

Dear Health Visitor,

No, I’m not going to express milk after every feed in order to further stimulate my milk supply. I do have a life.

LLC’s growth is slow but steady and she’s alert, happy and has plenty of wet nappies. She may be on the second percentile weight line – some baby has to be – and she just happens to be that girl. Please don’t mess with my head and make me think I don’t have enough milk.

Thanks a bunch,

One frustrated milk maiden

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Dear Mr & Mrs Misery,

You're new to my road and already have our local neighborhood aloofness down to a tee. When we pass on the road and I attempt to make eye contact and smile, please don’t turn around. I won’t bite and I won’t even hold you up for five minutes chatting. I just want to say hello.

Consider it,

Tanya

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Dear Thermostat,

Seriously, there is no way it’s 21 degrees in this house! Are the lights in the hallway invoking your tom-foolery? Please reflect the actual temperature so Chris will agree to turn on the heating at night.

Your chilly resident,

Tanya

*

Dear big woman and small woman chatting outside the elevator after Rhyme Time,

If you don’t call the elevator, it won’t come! Your presence alone is not enough to beckon the lift and you are holding up the entire line of mummies trying to get on with their day. A tad bit of common sense would be appreciated.

Hope not to see you later,

One tired and not amused mommy

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Dear Readers,

I’m grateful that this blog has been nominated in a few categories of the MAD Awards. I really enjoy writing it and it's a honor to see that others enjoy the read.  If you also like my style, please cast a vote my way.

Thanks in advance,

Tanya

How cathartic!

Solo Sleep for LLC

It’s exciting every time we have a new addition to LLC’s list of firsts. (You know I love my lists – plus, I’m spurred on by my baby book and baby calendar which encourage me to chart LLC’s developments).

We had forged a fairly successful bedtime routine – bath with daddy; change; feed & story with mommy; bed in moses basket) but since everyone tells us once you establish one pattern it is likely to change, we decided to pre-empt that ourselves by moving LLC into her own room for bed last night. So much for the old adage that “if it’s not broken don’t fix it” – we figure we should start to sew her seeds of nighttime independence as she’s going on for 10 weeks and getting more attentive and no doubt astute by the day.

LLC’s room is not a fully kitted out baby themed nursery as it’s also our office and guest room rolled into one. This suits our space, our budget and our purposes but we’re still keen to have the room reflect her as best it can. The bookshelves hold her books, on the wall hangs her awesome name banner sewn by the hand of Aunt D, her dresser dons her music box and ABC picture and the changing table hangs over her until now “naked” cot bed. Yesterday I finally “dressed” the cot bed and it’s proved a crowning glory in helping the little lady’s room look more complete.


So the room looks good and LLC’s crib is a cozy sanctuary for sleep, guarded by a small brigade of stuffed animals. But how did bedtime in this new environment go?

I nursed LLC on the futon in her room rather than our bed. I read her story. I shushed her into that seven mile stare state between consciousness and sleep and slowly lowered her into her crib. I retracted my hand, slowly, gently and then “Waa, waa, waa” - small sounds but on the brink of a crescendo. Her small eyes darted left and right, frantically taking in her new surrounds.

I braced myself that this nighttime transition may not be easy and that tonight might be the start of a tiring journey for awhile. I scooped up LLC, rocked and shushed again for about a minute and then placed her back in her crib once she fell quiet. She looked up at me with big full moon eyes. Such a huge searching stare from such a little person. I explained that this was her new big girl bed and that mommy would be back to feed her in the night and then in the morning like usual. She stayed quiet, so I gave her a goodnight kiss, switched on her monitor and left the room.

She woke once in the night to be fed and went down again fairly easily afterwards. She then woke up a little after 6am, a bit earlier than normal but we’ll take it!

So her first night sleeping solo went surprising well. I’m not getting too excited as it’s only been one night, but I’m hoping this auspicious start will be a sign of bedtimes to come. A mama can only hope.