As a little kid, I can remember speaking gibberish to my sister in the supermarket, faithfully believing that other customers would think we were speaking another language.
The difference for LLC is that hopefully, she actually will be.
When I was heavily pregnant with LLC one of my neighbours stopped me in the street to let me know she was becoming a childminder, and would I need her services in due course?
Having bought into the London pre-booking nursery craze, we’d already booked LLC into a local nursery three days a week even though she wasn’t yet born and I was no longer gainfully employed. Madness. So initially, I didn’t consider her offer too seriously, even though now the answer would be a total no brainer for me.
But at some point, Chris and I actually sat back and considered the convenience of dropping LLC with a neighbour literally five seconds from our front door. So I asked for more information, and really liked what I saw. The cost was significantly lower than the nursery, and my neighbour’s creative, laid back but firm style felt comfortable to me. Plus, there was the French offer.
My neighbour, I’ll call her C, is French but is married to a Brit and has been living in the UK for a number of years. And one of the benefits she pitched as part of her childminding service was speaking to LLC in French.
You might think I leapt at this opportunity, but I didn’t – quite the reverse. The offer discomfited me. If Chris or I spoke another language, I believe we would definitely have raised LLC in a bilingual style from the start. But this was different, in my mind. LLC would only be with C 3 days a week, and I was concerned whether this would be enough to enlighten her, or merely confuse her and impede her English development. Plus, if C had other children that she didn’t speak French to, would this end up confusing LLC further, leading to her mixing her languages?
I asked a number of friends and family what they would do and received a mixed reply. Some said it was a wonderful thing to do for LLC, others understood my concerns. My conversation with the mother of a little boy C used to regularly babysit ultimately tipped the balance for me. She said even if her son didn’t come away from his time with C fluent in French, she felt that exposing him to French so early on, while his sponge-like young brain was taking shape, would potentially “wire” an innate capacity for French into him that he would hopefully pick up on later.
For whatever reason this rationalisation struck a chord with me and Chris and I decided to go for it, enrolling LLC with C with the understanding she would speak French to her.
Fast forward just over a year. Oh how naive was this over-concerned mama! LLC’s inherent aptitude for learning has guided her, and she’s picking up the French in leaps and bounds. She never mixes languages or has tried speaking French to me, her English vocabulary is developing and she never appears thrown whether C speaks to her in French, or English when addressing other children or me.
On a recent trip to the Loire Valley, LLC frequently said “Merci” and “Au revoir” when I observe C speaking French to her, she understands and responds in action, even if not yet words.
So we haven’t looked back, and seeing what I do now I can’t believe I questioned giving LLC this opportunity. Plus, perhaps this will be a kick up the bum for me, rapidly losing my six years of school Spanish, to reconnect with language. I’m tired of being a spoiled purely English speaker!
Friday, 30 September 2011
Tuesday, 27 September 2011
W...W...E....What?!
Hysterical laughter greets me at the door following my Sunday morning run.
Wow, all the fun happens around here when I’m out, I think as Chris greets me on the threshold.
“You have to check out LLC,” he grins, padding back in the direction of our living room.
What’s she got up to now, I muse, grabbing some water and trailing after. Maybe she’s upended the laundry basket and is rolling around in our clothes? Cue crescendo of laughter.
Maybe she’s got Rico our cat in a headlock, poor boy. Or possibly Chris has riled her up with one of the many “indoor” ball games they play? I brace myself for carnage. Cue high pitched hysterical fit of giggles.
Nothing prepares me for the sight I find. LLC’s toys remain in their box, giving the room an uncharacteristically calm and tidy aura for a Sunday morning. On the couch sit Chris and LLC, like possessed zealots, eyes animatedly fixed to the television. And there on the flat screen, two half-naked men are rolling around, hair streaming, punches flying, slam dunking each other across a wrestling ring. It’s WWE “Raw” or something like that, but why is it on my television and why is my daughter lapping it up?!
With that, LLC leaps up as one fighter pounds the other into the floor, all smiles, practically pumping her fist in an animated cheer. And I look at Chris like he’s crazy, and with a click of the remote put an end to the fun before LLC has any more time re-invent herself as a WWE wrestling champ. I shudder at the thought.
Wow, all the fun happens around here when I’m out, I think as Chris greets me on the threshold.
“You have to check out LLC,” he grins, padding back in the direction of our living room.
What’s she got up to now, I muse, grabbing some water and trailing after. Maybe she’s upended the laundry basket and is rolling around in our clothes? Cue crescendo of laughter.
Maybe she’s got Rico our cat in a headlock, poor boy. Or possibly Chris has riled her up with one of the many “indoor” ball games they play? I brace myself for carnage. Cue high pitched hysterical fit of giggles.
Nothing prepares me for the sight I find. LLC’s toys remain in their box, giving the room an uncharacteristically calm and tidy aura for a Sunday morning. On the couch sit Chris and LLC, like possessed zealots, eyes animatedly fixed to the television. And there on the flat screen, two half-naked men are rolling around, hair streaming, punches flying, slam dunking each other across a wrestling ring. It’s WWE “Raw” or something like that, but why is it on my television and why is my daughter lapping it up?!
With that, LLC leaps up as one fighter pounds the other into the floor, all smiles, practically pumping her fist in an animated cheer. And I look at Chris like he’s crazy, and with a click of the remote put an end to the fun before LLC has any more time re-invent herself as a WWE wrestling champ. I shudder at the thought.
Tuesday, 20 September 2011
Magic
Children are magic. Maybe it takes becoming a parent and having your own kids to marvel at to really realize this. Maybe it’s just a matter of temporarily disconnecting from the noise of adult life to observe children and see the world through their eyes to recognize it.
What I do know, is that LLC has the striking ability to cut through my consciousness at the most unanticipated times, stopping me in my tracks and providing respite to my heart and mind as if a restorative tonic.
Like when I’m struggling to prepare LLC’s dinner, prep for Chris and my dinner and wash the dishes from breakfast and lunch when LLC burrows her head in my bum and throws her arms around my waist.
Or when I’m huffing and puffing up a hill on my bicycle, cursing the exertion of it all when I notice LLC lolling from side to side in the seat on the back of Chris’ bike; the fresh air and motion have lulled her to sleep.
Like when LLC stands tall, shoulder backs, belly out (no holding in the stomach for her!) focusing her attention 100% on learning how to remove a CD from a CD case.
Or when she gets frustrated and slaps me, but the immediately provides a gentle follow-up stroke and cheeky kiss. In her mind the latter has completely undone her previous assault. We are working on this to encourage this affection in its own right rather than as an apology!
Such small but significant moments. I think it has something to do with children’s innocence, instinct and the ability to live wholly in the present, drinking in each sensory experience for what it actually is. Though it’s impossible to live adult life from the same perspective, it’s still a compelling and invigorating one that cuts through my busy thoughts and reminds me to remember the little things. And for that I smile.
What I do know, is that LLC has the striking ability to cut through my consciousness at the most unanticipated times, stopping me in my tracks and providing respite to my heart and mind as if a restorative tonic.
Like when I’m struggling to prepare LLC’s dinner, prep for Chris and my dinner and wash the dishes from breakfast and lunch when LLC burrows her head in my bum and throws her arms around my waist.
Or when I’m huffing and puffing up a hill on my bicycle, cursing the exertion of it all when I notice LLC lolling from side to side in the seat on the back of Chris’ bike; the fresh air and motion have lulled her to sleep.
Like when LLC stands tall, shoulder backs, belly out (no holding in the stomach for her!) focusing her attention 100% on learning how to remove a CD from a CD case.
Or when she gets frustrated and slaps me, but the immediately provides a gentle follow-up stroke and cheeky kiss. In her mind the latter has completely undone her previous assault. We are working on this to encourage this affection in its own right rather than as an apology!
Such small but significant moments. I think it has something to do with children’s innocence, instinct and the ability to live wholly in the present, drinking in each sensory experience for what it actually is. Though it’s impossible to live adult life from the same perspective, it’s still a compelling and invigorating one that cuts through my busy thoughts and reminds me to remember the little things. And for that I smile.
Wednesday, 24 August 2011
Magic word confusion
LLC has forged her own version of the “magic word:” NO.
It comes out as “noooo,” and almost sounds like a yodel. It’s pretty cute, and because of this it can be easy to forget that she’s repeatedly shunning the affirmative and voicing her opposition, even when the answer clearly is yes!
Cue eye rub. “LLC, are you tired?” “NO!” Okay, I understand, she has already developed a love of being awake and not missing anything.
But then, cue dinner time, and LLC loves her food. “LLC, are you hungry? Let’s go get some dinner.” “NO!” Yet then she’ll reconsider and start using her “eat” sign.
Next cue really bad smell. “LLC, do you need your diaper changed?” “NO!” And then she’ll wander off in the direction of her changing mat.
I’m not sure where “yes” is hiding in her daily expanding vocabulary, but it hasn’t yet come out to play. I wondered if maybe I say no a lot, but I don’t think I do, since at our sing and sign class I also learned the sign for stop and I often use this instead of no when I want her to quit something. I’ve also been trying to respond to negative actions by responding with what a more appropriate positive action would be, as suggested to me in a previous post.
I guess through this phase of NO I must bear in mind the old adage that actions speak louder than words!
It comes out as “noooo,” and almost sounds like a yodel. It’s pretty cute, and because of this it can be easy to forget that she’s repeatedly shunning the affirmative and voicing her opposition, even when the answer clearly is yes!
Cue eye rub. “LLC, are you tired?” “NO!” Okay, I understand, she has already developed a love of being awake and not missing anything.
But then, cue dinner time, and LLC loves her food. “LLC, are you hungry? Let’s go get some dinner.” “NO!” Yet then she’ll reconsider and start using her “eat” sign.
Next cue really bad smell. “LLC, do you need your diaper changed?” “NO!” And then she’ll wander off in the direction of her changing mat.
I’m not sure where “yes” is hiding in her daily expanding vocabulary, but it hasn’t yet come out to play. I wondered if maybe I say no a lot, but I don’t think I do, since at our sing and sign class I also learned the sign for stop and I often use this instead of no when I want her to quit something. I’ve also been trying to respond to negative actions by responding with what a more appropriate positive action would be, as suggested to me in a previous post.
I guess through this phase of NO I must bear in mind the old adage that actions speak louder than words!
Tuesday, 9 August 2011
How much of the England Riot shame starts in the home?
Devastated, disgusted and frustrated. This is my initial reaction to the senseless, barbaric looting and rioting unfolding on my London doorstep and quickly spreading across England like wildfire. It’s horrific to see vibrant city streets crumbling and burning at the hands of, largely, young people without discernable conscience or respect for social order. How else can we explain those willing to crush the homes and livelihood of the innocent by throwing petrol bombs or breaking shop windows with the same ease they’d use to switch off a light? How did things come to this? Were they never taught about values and consequences at home?
The fatal shooting of Mark Duggan in Tottenham by police, still under investigation, proved the catalyst for this mayhem. Yet the root cause of the riots of the last three days runs far deeper than this incident in my opinion. Mark’s peaceful protest gone wrong appears a worrying testament to the latent tensions brewing across the country, poisoning our society and fundamentally blurring the line between right and wrong.
Fortunately the closest I’ve ever come to anti-social youth was riding the train home from work one evening. I was in my early 20s, and with Chris. Two young boys, probably in their early teens, were smoking on the train. It wasn’t the height of rush hour so the train wasn’t packed. A number of us asked the kids to put out their cigarettes. They scoffed. Then they snubbed them out on the train seat, only to light up again. This pattern continued our entire train ride home. Perhaps naively, I was shocked how these boys just did not care. They had no respect for Authority, and that they weren’t supposed to be smoking on the train. They had no respect for fellow passengers. They acted as if they were untouchable, and how dare we even attempt to mess with that.
This memory always stays with me. It reinforced my knowledge that I have to keep my wits about me living in a city; it also worried me and discourages me from attempting to reason with wanton youth, for fear of a worse result than pure scoffing and a face full of cigarette smoke. I don’t believe people in the street should sanction anti-social behaviour by teens and children, but simultaneously stories of people being stabbed for asking youth to stop messing around prove a pretty big deterrent.
So what to do now, now that an unfortunate incident has been blown out of proportion and become an excuse for seemingly bored, angry, frustrated young people to run feral and destroy society in their wake? Undoubtedly the police are working hard at quelling this challenging situation, yet so far they appear a limited disincentive to rioters and that is worrying. Should they be using limited force or tear gas or rubber bullets? Or would this just lead to a portrait of them assaulting human rights? Should the army be called in, as many were suggesting on news boards and in social media?
And what to do with the perpetrators as they gradually are identified and charged? How can we genuinely get through to the “untouchable” to show that their behaviour hurts the innocent and is unacceptable? Some are calling for a re-introduction of a National Service-like programme. Most importantly, how to we rehabilitate more than condemn? What do you think?
Yes, burning London and England-wide cities are a wake- up call about the ripple effects of poverty, lack of education, gang warfare and survival of the fittest mentalities that run deep in England for which there are no easy solution. But when we strip that all away, and ask how these kids came to be involved in such rioting, I can’t help wondering where their parents are? I know I can’t tar them all with the same brush and that often bad eggs/influences in society may cloud positive family influences but I can’t help feeling shame for these rioting children, and shame for the parents that don’t know where their children are or who won’t chastise their children’s behaviour as anti-social, cruel and wrong. I'm not talking about dumping their child with social services either - I'm talking about taking some personal responsibility and being involved in a positive way.
I may be speaking out of turn, but how did we reach a point where young people are running rampant destroying English cities? I’m not saying that there aren’t very real challenges in our society that need addressing or that these children and young adults shouldn’t be held directly accountable for their actions. I just wonder why they never learned that for every bit of good they put back into the world they are one step closer to tackling inequity. And that anti-social behavior or rioting or cruelty will only cause hurt, condemnation and more struggles.
These are messages we should all be sharing with our children in hopes that gradually we will collectively generate goodwill, that as part of the bigger picture, will help shift the balance away from the madness of late.
*For a take on why rioters feel like they don't belong to "the community", read Camila Batmanghelidjh
She makes a compelling case for more proactive approaches to social inclusion with fair insights into the anti-society where rioters may be coming from. I don't feel, however, that this negates personal and in some cases parental accountability for the goings on of late. Rehabilitation of this mindset is key, just not cheap or easy.
The fatal shooting of Mark Duggan in Tottenham by police, still under investigation, proved the catalyst for this mayhem. Yet the root cause of the riots of the last three days runs far deeper than this incident in my opinion. Mark’s peaceful protest gone wrong appears a worrying testament to the latent tensions brewing across the country, poisoning our society and fundamentally blurring the line between right and wrong.
Fortunately the closest I’ve ever come to anti-social youth was riding the train home from work one evening. I was in my early 20s, and with Chris. Two young boys, probably in their early teens, were smoking on the train. It wasn’t the height of rush hour so the train wasn’t packed. A number of us asked the kids to put out their cigarettes. They scoffed. Then they snubbed them out on the train seat, only to light up again. This pattern continued our entire train ride home. Perhaps naively, I was shocked how these boys just did not care. They had no respect for Authority, and that they weren’t supposed to be smoking on the train. They had no respect for fellow passengers. They acted as if they were untouchable, and how dare we even attempt to mess with that.
This memory always stays with me. It reinforced my knowledge that I have to keep my wits about me living in a city; it also worried me and discourages me from attempting to reason with wanton youth, for fear of a worse result than pure scoffing and a face full of cigarette smoke. I don’t believe people in the street should sanction anti-social behaviour by teens and children, but simultaneously stories of people being stabbed for asking youth to stop messing around prove a pretty big deterrent.
So what to do now, now that an unfortunate incident has been blown out of proportion and become an excuse for seemingly bored, angry, frustrated young people to run feral and destroy society in their wake? Undoubtedly the police are working hard at quelling this challenging situation, yet so far they appear a limited disincentive to rioters and that is worrying. Should they be using limited force or tear gas or rubber bullets? Or would this just lead to a portrait of them assaulting human rights? Should the army be called in, as many were suggesting on news boards and in social media?
And what to do with the perpetrators as they gradually are identified and charged? How can we genuinely get through to the “untouchable” to show that their behaviour hurts the innocent and is unacceptable? Some are calling for a re-introduction of a National Service-like programme. Most importantly, how to we rehabilitate more than condemn? What do you think?
Yes, burning London and England-wide cities are a wake- up call about the ripple effects of poverty, lack of education, gang warfare and survival of the fittest mentalities that run deep in England for which there are no easy solution. But when we strip that all away, and ask how these kids came to be involved in such rioting, I can’t help wondering where their parents are? I know I can’t tar them all with the same brush and that often bad eggs/influences in society may cloud positive family influences but I can’t help feeling shame for these rioting children, and shame for the parents that don’t know where their children are or who won’t chastise their children’s behaviour as anti-social, cruel and wrong. I'm not talking about dumping their child with social services either - I'm talking about taking some personal responsibility and being involved in a positive way.
I may be speaking out of turn, but how did we reach a point where young people are running rampant destroying English cities? I’m not saying that there aren’t very real challenges in our society that need addressing or that these children and young adults shouldn’t be held directly accountable for their actions. I just wonder why they never learned that for every bit of good they put back into the world they are one step closer to tackling inequity. And that anti-social behavior or rioting or cruelty will only cause hurt, condemnation and more struggles.
These are messages we should all be sharing with our children in hopes that gradually we will collectively generate goodwill, that as part of the bigger picture, will help shift the balance away from the madness of late.
*For a take on why rioters feel like they don't belong to "the community", read Camila Batmanghelidjh
She makes a compelling case for more proactive approaches to social inclusion with fair insights into the anti-society where rioters may be coming from. I don't feel, however, that this negates personal and in some cases parental accountability for the goings on of late. Rehabilitation of this mindset is key, just not cheap or easy.
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