Party Like It's 2009!

Par-tay! Yup, that what Chris and I are doing this New Year’s Eve 2009. Scene of the crime: our living room. Life and soul of the party: Chris post a half day in the office, big blooming me, Rico the cat purring and bump kicking....along with board games, a yummy Mexican dinner and some bubbly. A random mix for a random lady.

Yes, it is the close of 2009 and yes, our celebrations fall nicely in line with our imminent life chapter where New Year’s celebrations are likely to be toned down at notch or two. In all honesty, I’m one of those who sees New Year’s fiestas as often over-rated and overly expensive. I think even our local pub has a cover charge. Whenever too much expectation is placed on one night it often doesn’t live up in reality. Some of our best New Year celebrations have been at home with friends, something that shouldn’t be too tough to integrate babies into.

I started 2009 with my usual “Goals for 20xx” list. I think I had about 20 items on my list. You know I tend to go overboard with the damn lists. Well, I’m not going to bore you with the details of my to do’s aside from to say on the whole, it’s been a pretty productive and life changing year. We have our little lady on the way and I began writing again, a latent passion that I’m pleased has been galvanized by this new pregnancy/parenting phase of my life. Ticking those two items off gives me great satisfaction and a sense of accomplishment.

As two become three, (or four counting little Rico), 2010 promises to be all the more life changing, exciting, challenging and hopefully productive. I feel I have so much more to learn and that I want to achieve in this new life chapter that I better keep my 2010 Goals List short and sweet or it may run a million miles long.
Three major things I’d like to achieve are:

• Have our baby! This is on the cards, and although women may be built as baby making machines, to actually do the deed will be my biggest feat to date. I hope we are able to have our home birth as planned, but ultimately all we want is our little lady, safe and sound.
• Find our new life balance with baby while maintaining our own independence as individuals and a couple, something of a life ethos for Chris and me and a running theme through my blog and soon to be website. 
  
• Launch my new website, which will feature my blog (a journey of my transition to parenthood and chronicle of pregnancy and parenting advice/news/etc from both sides of the pond), a sharp & topical weekly advice bulletin from other pregnant and parent writers (an expansion of mama chat) with real advice to share and a forum for my freelance parenting writing projects. This launch is on the cards for January 2010 once I overcome a few technology hurdles so watch this space! Parent blogging is such a hot commodity on both sides of the pond that my mission often seems daunting but I’m dedicated and hope you enjoy the read. Three social networks I’ve recently joined but can tell will prove invaluable to my blogging journey are the British Mummy Bloggers, Mom Bloggers Club and My Best Birth, where there are countless impressive, creative and real mama bloggers that generously share wisdoms and knowledge about their lives, their birth experience and making headway in the black hole of parent blogging. If you are also an aspiring mama blogger definitely check them out.

Now I better re-join Chris in the living room after this frenzied "close of 09" post! Happy New Year!

My Hectic Chill

Are most women swimming at the gym at nearly 39 weeks pregnant? Are most still plodding away, slow but steady, on the cross trainer or taking power walks on the beach? Do many subject themselves to one last pre-baby retail therapy session involving Ikea, John Lewis, Sainsburys and horrendous traffic in torrential rain during half term in the week after Christmas? Maybe so….I expect more often not….but I am not most pregnant women but just little old active me and this is my hectic chill in the run up to my “last” week of pregnancy. Hear me roar!

If you’re shaking your head and thinking I should slow down, I don’t feel like I’m wearing myself into the ground. Plus, I just had a lot of rejuvenating down time with family over Christmas. If you’re of the similar “I can’t sit at home alone all day, especially when everyone is telling me make the most of my last week pre-baby before my life changes forever” then you may have a sympathetic hug to offer.

Since going on maternity leave I’ve made time to put my feet up in front of day-time TV but there is only so much Come Dine With Me that a person can take. I can’t stand Jeremy Kyle and Loose Women is just not my thing.  I expect it's a whole different ball game when you have other little ones to tend to, but I don't and it has been an adjustment not to get up for work each morning when the daily grind was all I knew.

I’ve done nesting. Maybe I’m still nesting. Chris says I’m always cleaning at the best of times, and I’ve tidied the house, washed the baby clothes, cleaned out cabinets, rearranged drawers. But there is only so much nesting I can do before I go stir crazy and need to get out of the house. Plus, with all this rain and mud what’s the point of mopping a floor as clean as a dinner plate only to have some inevitable muck tracked in next time someone emerges from outside, even if they do take their shoes off? Plus, I keep hearing once the baby comes I’ll have no time to clean my house so why set an extra anally high bar of cleanliness now?

Don't get me wrong.  I'm thankful for the time I've had to get organized for our little lady.  I'm grateful to be able to lay in bed past 7am and sit down when I need to.  But I'm still, in the words of Chris and in my usual on-the-go style, actively moving and using. Swimming and shopping; walking and errand running; reading and Internet browsing; preventing my days alone from dragging or my mind from idling over “Is she coming, is this it?” through this home stretch of pregnancy.

Mama Chat Volume 2 - A Dish on Parenting from Real Moms

First, week 38 pictures:

In the holiday spirit of giving, lovely moms EW from the USA and LG from the UK have agreed to share more parenting wisdoms with you and me.

As usual, some of these tips may be your cup of tea and some may not, but I’m certainly grateful for the ideas and insights.

If you are an experienced mama willing to be contacted for future mama chat installments, please leave a comment on this post and I’ll be in touch.

Today’s hot topic: Early Day Parenting Advice

What’s the best advice you can give new moms for their early days with baby, as well as something you wish you had been told before becoming a mom?

EW in the USA:

Early day advice:

• Take as many pictures of every inch of that sweet baby girl because she will grow daily and change daily! Get everything-each toe, wrinkle, hairline, etc! You won't believe how quick it all changes and the development continues.
• Sleep when the baby sleep or else you'll run yourself in the ground! Put a note on the front door that says you're sleeping/nursing and to leave a message! You'll be high on adrenaline for a few days but then it catches up with you.

Something I wish I had been told:

• Girls also like to pee in the fresh air! I thought that was just a boy thing-hence the invention of the peepee teepee! I can't believe how many diapers I go through-you barely get one on and then there's a blow out! Little babies can burp and pass wind like the best truckers!

LG in the UK:

Early day advice:

• Try and keep visitors to a minimum and ask everyone to call or text before arriving. Someone told me they kept their dressing gown by the front door and put it on before they answered it, if it was someone they didn't want to see or were too tired to entertain they would just pretend to have been asleep and ask them to come back later!
• If you feel like crying, cry! Don't think it means you're not coping, your body has just been through a massive change and your hormones are all over the place so let those emotions out!
• Don't be afraid to ask lots of questions about anything and everything, again it doesn't mean you're not coping or are a rubbish mum. I found it so helpful to speak to other mums who knew exactly how I was feeling and it was reassuring to know that they all felt as clueless as I did!!
• If you end up having stitches then my mum gave me some great advice which was to have a quick bath in the morning and before bed, this really helped to soothe the pain and they healed pretty quickly!
• Once you are discharged from midewife care (usually around day 10) they take your pregnancy notes with them and you can't see them again unless you request them from your GP and you have to pay for this privilege! It’s a good idea to photocopy them - a lot of mums have enjoyed reading their labour notes 6 months down the line as it gives them a whole new perspective on the whole event!

Something I wish I had been told:

• Don't think that you are supposed to know what to do just because your the baby's mum! I found it very frustrating that some midwives/health visitors could make mum's feel guilty that they weren't sure about what to do with their baby and made them feel like a failure! One of the most empowering moments for me was realising that I didn't always have to know what to do. As long as she was loved, fed and washed that was all that mattered!
• Don't put too much pressure on yourselves with regards to going out, and if you are brave enough to have a family trip out then I would add an hour to any planned meeting time. Although going out can seem like the scariest thing ever it is good to go out even if it is for a 5 min walk! Once you are out everything won't seem as scary and you will finally start to believe, maybe life will get easier!

Christmas Lights, Christmas Lights

Merry Christmas to all plus a day – Happy Boxing Day to those in the UK!

My sister and I always loved spotting all the Christmas lights decorating houses through December. During car trips, we’d turn eagle eyes out our respective windows and shout “Christmas lights, Christmas lights” every time we saw a display.

It’s a shame my attention to lights has diminished with my years....while I still love my Christmas lights, now I struggle to notice things like my car headlights, which I left on during a rainy December 23, draining our car battery and leaving us with a dead car on Christmas Eve – not good news when we were due to drive to the South of England for festivities with Chris’ family. Can I blame poor careless observation on the pregnancy hormones?

Our jump leads were locked in our trunk, which won’t unlock since it’s linked to the car electrical system. With a rising irrational hysteria in my gut, I called Chris at work and left a message for him to call me back urgently. He did, thinking I was in labor. I realized I need to be more careful about the type of messages I leave. He suggested I ask around for jump leads before we called our breakdown service.

So I pulled myself together, wiped my tear stained face and took to our streets in search of a motorist who might have jump leads. Where we live we have on-street parking and our car was parked halfway around the block from our house. I made a few sheepish approaches to people leaving our local shop and/or getting into their parked cars with no joy. I finally knocked on the house in front of my car where I was saved by a kind man with three young children! In little time he had his car connected to ours and soon I had a charged battery and drivable car. He and his wife were extremely friendly and kind; in an area where many of our neighbours look the other direction when we try to say hello, this was a real treat. They exemplified the giving spirit of Christmas. I need to write them a thank you note.

We made it to Dorset for a chilled, family Christmas full of festivity, food, fun and games. Bump has been treated to numerous sweet treats and I feel relaxed. I needed that after the emotional headlight fiasco. In fact, I think this past week I’ve been set off by lots of random little things: a touching TV show, random apprehension as to how I’ll handle parenthood, when I dropped my Christmas mug on the floor and it shattered. I tell myself I’m not cracking up and it’s just that her due date is around the corner and it's normal for me to be a little bit of a hormonal headcase. Right?

But a change of scene and change of pace has proved invigorating, for now I sit, calm, cool and collected. On Christmas I hit the 38 week mark and the little lady should now clock in at about 19.5 inches, the length of a leek, and 7 pounds. After all I’ve been eating, maybe she’s a bit heavier....whoops! She’s been very active and feels like she’s dropping in my pelvis. The whole region feels a bit tender. Good signs.

All we really want this Christmas, this New Year, is our baby, healthy and happy. I’ll keep you posted – not long to go now. For the moment, I’m sitting back and enjoying the bright and brilliant Christmas lights.

"Secret Report" Leads to Axing of Home Birth Group

The home birth may be slowly growing in popularity and availability here in the UK, yet it's still considered risky taboo for many and scare stories like this highlighted by The Times don't help its case.

The Albany practice, an independent South London midwifery group specializing in home births has had its contract terminated by the NHS because of a confidential report suggesting it had ten times the normal rate of babies born with serious complications like brain damage.

Yet experts, Albany advocates and government figures alike have raised concerns over the confidentiality of this inquiry and why it was not carried out in conjunction with the Care Quality Commission, the health regulator.

King’s College Hospital commissioned this report and claims that its findings do not equate with an anti home birth stance but rather the need for closer monitoring of midwifery services. Yet details of the "serious shortcomings" identified and comparative assessment of birth rates between Albany and other midwifery practices are glaringly absent, and create a transparency gap that undermines the very nature of the report's findings.

It's crucial that NHS and contracted home birth midwives follow strict due diligence and safety protocols. When they do, it's been shown the home birth can be a fantastic experience. Shortcomings should be identified and rooted out, however the key here is identification and transparency. Axing a leading midwifery service over ambiguous failures only serves to scare and rile up the masses.