No, not THAT kind of fantasy, stay with me…sorry to disappoint. This fantasy was merely one of those stories that you make up in your head about people that you come across in day to day life. You must know what I mean. Someone strikes you and you put them into creative context in your head. You think up a little back story about them. For me, this is particularly fun for people I see day in day out, like fellow commuters. You can really get their vibe, and you can really think of some fun back stories.
There’s this one woman that used to always board the train with me every morning. I see less of her now working part-time, but I still see her. She’s professionally dressed but always with a bulky backpack and fluffy hat in the winter. She’s stern looking, and never cracks a smile. She’s the epitome of the commuter on autopilot who will run you down to get on the train and not give you second glance as she crushes your toes.
To me this woman screams all work, no play. She’s determined but has no softer side in sight. She probably works late hours and eats in the office. I doubt that she’s married, or that she even socializes much because of the strong standoffish air she exudes. I’m certain she’s successful, because she seems determined, but determined in the sense she puts her head down and does her thing, railroading her way to success as she does to get on the train.
But that’s just judgmental me. I know nothing about this woman; this is all just my little fantasy.
Then the other day, I saw said woman leaving a house with three relatively small children. They kind of look like her, in fact, wait a minute, it looks like they might be hers. She looks stern and un-amused as ever, but unless she’s aunt on babysitting patrol, I think this woman is their mum.
And that really surprised me, and brought me back to reality. I’m sure now that I’m in the “mom club” I find myself guessing who else is too. That lady that moved aside to make it easier for me to navigate the corridor with LLC’s pushchair – a mum. The woman that gave me a knowing smile as LLC chattered loudly on the train – likely to be a mum.
It’s like I think I have mom-dar when I don’t really know anything about these people. Is this really strange, or do you find yourself doing this too?
Back to my unlikely mum, my instincts do seem to have been correct in that she doesn’t come off as a jolly mum, even with her brood in tow. Chris and I have discussed her before and I got the following text message from him yesterday:
“Just saw that crone woman who pushes past people. She was with her family. Her poor kids were being moaned at by her!”
And that’s why Chris and I are married.
Tuesday, 1 March 2011
Monday, 21 February 2011
Children = Tricky Customers. Or are they?
I remember being small and telling my younger sister how horrible immunisations were. I must have made an impression, because she really put up a fight when her shots were due. My mom was seriously not amused.
When LLC had her recent round of vaccinations I didn’t look forward to it. She’s now so much more aware and I dreaded her reaction to getting multiple jabs at the fateful visit. She was in such a great mood before the said event, laughing and chatting. I think she thought the nurse was at the sink preparing her some food.
I explained to her what was coming and that it was for her long term benefit. Then came her cry as the first injection struck. Our faithful nurse was quick though, and soon it was all over. LLC cried a bit during the shots but didn’t even really squirm and the whole affair was nothing that a spelt biscuit couldn’t quickly appease.
It got me thinking. Injections aren’t anyone’s favorite pastime, but they aren’t so bad either. Same with visiting the doctor or the dentist in general. My first impression was to assume all of the above would get harder as kids get older and put up a fight, but maybe there is a lot to be said in how parents prepare their kids for all of these inevitable events....i.e. if we project fear and worry onto our kids about such things they’ll have just that. If we coddle them and act like something unpleasant is on the cards, they’ll expect that. Where if we’re more matter of fact about these things, they’ll understand more and take more in stride.
This was definitely the reason behind my dental hygienist’s stance that I introduce LLC to the dentist’s office at a young age. Though then again, she probably ate her words when LLC kicked off halfway through my last cleaning in December! Still, my initial reaction that these injections would spell trouble probably wasn’t the best attitude to have, in retrospect.
Do you think children really are tricky customers at their core because they can’t be reasoned with? Or is it instead parents (or naughty older siblings, etc!) that set the scene for such behaviour?
When LLC had her recent round of vaccinations I didn’t look forward to it. She’s now so much more aware and I dreaded her reaction to getting multiple jabs at the fateful visit. She was in such a great mood before the said event, laughing and chatting. I think she thought the nurse was at the sink preparing her some food.
I explained to her what was coming and that it was for her long term benefit. Then came her cry as the first injection struck. Our faithful nurse was quick though, and soon it was all over. LLC cried a bit during the shots but didn’t even really squirm and the whole affair was nothing that a spelt biscuit couldn’t quickly appease.
It got me thinking. Injections aren’t anyone’s favorite pastime, but they aren’t so bad either. Same with visiting the doctor or the dentist in general. My first impression was to assume all of the above would get harder as kids get older and put up a fight, but maybe there is a lot to be said in how parents prepare their kids for all of these inevitable events....i.e. if we project fear and worry onto our kids about such things they’ll have just that. If we coddle them and act like something unpleasant is on the cards, they’ll expect that. Where if we’re more matter of fact about these things, they’ll understand more and take more in stride.
This was definitely the reason behind my dental hygienist’s stance that I introduce LLC to the dentist’s office at a young age. Though then again, she probably ate her words when LLC kicked off halfway through my last cleaning in December! Still, my initial reaction that these injections would spell trouble probably wasn’t the best attitude to have, in retrospect.
Do you think children really are tricky customers at their core because they can’t be reasoned with? Or is it instead parents (or naughty older siblings, etc!) that set the scene for such behaviour?
Tuesday, 15 February 2011
What a smacker!
It’s also a testament to how much she must understand, because she doesn’t just randomly give kisses, but also when I request them, which I’ve been doing a lot of now that she knows how. I guess we must kiss her a lot and that’s how she picked up on all this.
This led to a recent conversation with some of my NCT friends about kissing your kids on the lips. Do you do this or do you find it strange? Would the gender of your child affect your or your other half’s comfort level about kissing them on the lips?
Chris and I do kiss LLC on the lips – these little pecks of affection seem natural to me but I realize it’s not like this for everyone. Personally, I was brought up giving my parents a kiss so I don’t think this odd but if I wasn’t maybe I might think differently. Or maybe I wouldn’t be able to resist LLC’s little pucker.
Friday, 11 February 2011
Woe is Weaning
Woe is weaning
Not really
Fascinating new textures
Juicy new tastes
The joys of food
Discovered
Goodbye breastfeeding
Take an emotional bow
You didn’t create our bond
But you were part of the package
Parting ways is harder than I thought
But we’re ready
Woe is weaning
Not true
Embrace your dependence
Drink your milk
From a cup!
Grow
I said I’d breastfeed for 6 months. Then I said I’d carry on. Now I’ve breastfed for a year and as Chris’ gran so tactfully puts it, “the milk bar,” is now closed. I was told the whole stopping feeding thing could get quite emotional but I didn’t really believe it would affect me in that way. But it kind of has.
I could see LLC was ready to be weaned (holding her mouth open over my breast as if it was a free flow cup was a hint!) and I felt ready to stop. Still, what I underestimated was my feeling of loss for the lovely mommy and LLC cuddle time that came with breastfeeding in the morning and before bed. The chance of LLC cuddling up to me at these times is now slim to none. She's just too on the go. Of course we have cuddle time and closeness in many other ways, but I did enjoy giving her something natural and good while having a snuggle. It's a little sad to say goodbye to that.
Still, we’re both ready, so we move on. Just not without a little wistful moment.
Not really
Fascinating new textures
Juicy new tastes
The joys of food
Discovered
Goodbye breastfeeding
Take an emotional bow
You didn’t create our bond
But you were part of the package
Parting ways is harder than I thought
But we’re ready
Woe is weaning
Not true
Embrace your dependence
Drink your milk
From a cup!
Grow
I said I’d breastfeed for 6 months. Then I said I’d carry on. Now I’ve breastfed for a year and as Chris’ gran so tactfully puts it, “the milk bar,” is now closed. I was told the whole stopping feeding thing could get quite emotional but I didn’t really believe it would affect me in that way. But it kind of has.
I could see LLC was ready to be weaned (holding her mouth open over my breast as if it was a free flow cup was a hint!) and I felt ready to stop. Still, what I underestimated was my feeling of loss for the lovely mommy and LLC cuddle time that came with breastfeeding in the morning and before bed. The chance of LLC cuddling up to me at these times is now slim to none. She's just too on the go. Of course we have cuddle time and closeness in many other ways, but I did enjoy giving her something natural and good while having a snuggle. It's a little sad to say goodbye to that.
Still, we’re both ready, so we move on. Just not without a little wistful moment.
Wednesday, 9 February 2011
Faith in Health Visitors Restored (Partially)
Did I just say that?
You may remember that I haven’t had the best experiences with health visitors. My post birth care was a bit spotty to say the least, and the HV I often saw at our GP’s office continually worried me about LLC’s weight – to the point that I hadn’t been back to her since writing this rant.
I was thus surprised to get a message from yet another HV about a week ago, inviting us in for LLC’s 8-12 month checkup. I thought she was due for a checkup of some sort alongside the immunizations she had last week, but I hadn’t got around to finding her a new HV. The thought of them alone put me off. The clinic at our GP has since closed and I didn’t want to take LLC back to that miserable old HV anyway.
Anyhow, I think all children from our GP’s surgery have been referred to this new clinic and that’s how this new HV, we’ll call her Alice, found me.
Alice was a breath of fresh air. She didn’t lack “the human element” and was relatively young with two young children. She had a great approach with LLC and actually seemed to like children! She was considerate, thorough, informative when I asked her questions and – amazingly for me – didn’t gawp when LLC’s weight measured in at just over 16lbs. She even praised me for breastfeeding LLC up to now (though we’ve just wound that down – another post) and considered LLC’s weight within the context of her diet, height, personality, activity….(and pointed out that LLC has more or less stayed just above or below the 2 percentile weight line since birth - it just appears to be her natural line).
I finally felt like I was talking to someone who looked at LLC for who she was, not just as an outlier on the weight charts. I finally felt like I was talking someone who understood, and who was supportive and reassuring rather than scaremongering.
So maybe not all HVs are that bad. The following week I also heard from a friend about a positive visit to a HV with her also small young son. Maybe if you sift through the mire, or maybe through the luck of the draw, they are out there and I should not have tarred them ALL with the same brush.
You may remember that I haven’t had the best experiences with health visitors. My post birth care was a bit spotty to say the least, and the HV I often saw at our GP’s office continually worried me about LLC’s weight – to the point that I hadn’t been back to her since writing this rant.
I was thus surprised to get a message from yet another HV about a week ago, inviting us in for LLC’s 8-12 month checkup. I thought she was due for a checkup of some sort alongside the immunizations she had last week, but I hadn’t got around to finding her a new HV. The thought of them alone put me off. The clinic at our GP has since closed and I didn’t want to take LLC back to that miserable old HV anyway.
Anyhow, I think all children from our GP’s surgery have been referred to this new clinic and that’s how this new HV, we’ll call her Alice, found me.
Alice was a breath of fresh air. She didn’t lack “the human element” and was relatively young with two young children. She had a great approach with LLC and actually seemed to like children! She was considerate, thorough, informative when I asked her questions and – amazingly for me – didn’t gawp when LLC’s weight measured in at just over 16lbs. She even praised me for breastfeeding LLC up to now (though we’ve just wound that down – another post) and considered LLC’s weight within the context of her diet, height, personality, activity….(and pointed out that LLC has more or less stayed just above or below the 2 percentile weight line since birth - it just appears to be her natural line).
I finally felt like I was talking to someone who looked at LLC for who she was, not just as an outlier on the weight charts. I finally felt like I was talking someone who understood, and who was supportive and reassuring rather than scaremongering.
So maybe not all HVs are that bad. The following week I also heard from a friend about a positive visit to a HV with her also small young son. Maybe if you sift through the mire, or maybe through the luck of the draw, they are out there and I should not have tarred them ALL with the same brush.
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