Cupid's Arrows

Yesterday Chris and I celebrated our 5 year wedding anniversary! This year he's got all the more to love, as you can see from my 34 week picture :) It was our last anniversary sans children and we toasted (yes, I had a small glass of red wine) that after 5 years of married life and 10 years of knowing each other that the romance is still in the air. Thank you Cupid for your love arrows in this respect.

Of course the love in the air extends to our little one in utero, though she was keen to remind us of that a la Cupid as well. "What am getting at", you ask? The sharp, arrow-like pains that I now sporadically feel shooting into my nether regions. Don't be alarmed; it's nothing bad or sinister - the opposite in fact. It's my body and baby's way of preparing/stretching/doing something to ready me for her birth. It just feels like she got Cupid on board and asked him to shoot some of his love arrows down under. Sorry, TMI, but true.  But I'm still smiling.

Baby Bargains on Black Friday

Fellow Americans know the sales/magic/madness of "Black Friday," aka the Friday after American Thanksgiving and purported busiest shopping day of the year in the USA.

Though I did host a Thanksgiving meal to an international group of six (3 Americans, 2 Brits, 1 French) yesterday, I didn't partake in the post turkey (or in our case chicken - there were no fresh turkeys in the supermarket when I went shopping on Wednesday!) retail fest. After all of yesterday's cooking and subsequent ingesting, I didn't have the strength! In fact, I felt a little ill after dinner but that's what you get when you eat "turkey," mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, carrots, string beans, Bisquick biscuits, stuffing, cranberry sauce, spinach with bacon, pumpkin pie and apple pie all in one sitting with the baby the size of a cantaloupe squishing your stomach and intestines into a cramped ball! But I digress....

Today I'm 34 weeks pregnant; I feel like I'm in the final countdown and that birth is on the horizon. With this reality dawning, Chris and I have been taking stock of the baby essentials that we need for when she arrives. So although there was no shopping spree for me today, the last couple of weeks have involved a flurry of buying baby items.

This buying has set my money saving instincts into motion and in honor of Black Friday bargain shopping I'd like to share them with you (these are UK specific savings but maybe the US has similar schemes....if anyone knows of any, please share!)

• I have a Coupon Folder Thing! Call me Martha Stewart, or foolish for not doing this sooner, but I now have a little coupon case where I'm saving all baby/food/gas coupons that I receive/find and think we may use. There are tons of good offers out there if you are willing to look for them and remember to slip your coupon case into your bag before you head out to the stores!

• I joined Sainsburys Little Ones Baby and Toddler Club. This at the suggestion of Chris' mum and LH. I wish I'd done this sooner! You get a free welcome pack from Sainsburys and a "Huggies Mum and Baby Bundle" worth £9.99, more coupons and a quarterly magazine. I'm a Sainsburys girl but other supermarkets like Tesco also have these baby clubs - if the offers are out there, join, join join!

• I claimed my Mum-to-Be Essentials Bounty Pack. Here in the UK you get a free Pregnancy Information Pack compliments of Bounty when you "book in" as pregnant with your NHS hospital/surgery. In this pack is a week by week "Your Pregnancy" guide, which includes a coupon for the Mum-to-Be Essential pack that you can collect from select local retailers when you are 3 months + pregnant. My guide didn't have this voucher but if you join Bounty for free online you can call and request that a Mum-to-Be pack voucher be emailed or posted to you - I only just did this!

• I shopped online via Kidstart. Join Kidstart for free and you can earn back a percentage of your purchases by shopping at a wide variety of retailers online. This cash back goes into a KiddyBank for your child, which you can then transfer into an external savings account. Why not do some Christmas shopping online and earn cash back for your kid in the process?

I'm a Coupon Queen in the making, determined to keep baby expenses at bay. Yes, I'll buy new things, nice things and not always the cheapest things. But I'll mix this with my ebay and second hand buying/borrowing and money saving schemes in an effort not to break our bank!

Fruit Photo Credit: Babycenter.com

Dads in the Delivery Room: Delightful or Disastrous?

Today the BBC brings to light French obstetrician Michel Ordent’s view that dads should NOT be in the delivery room during the birth of their children as they are likely to be more of a hindrance than a help in the birthing process. The French doc shuns the notion championed by US doctor Robert Bradley that a husband’s presence during labor provides his wife with much needed support and solidarity. He even suggests that an anxious male partner will make a women tenser and increase her likelihood of ending up with an emergency Caesarean section!

Oh ye of little faith Dr Ordent! While not all men want to be present at the birth of junior (celeb chef Gordon Ramsay for example) there are loads out there who want to actively participate in the life changing experience that is birth to the extent that they can. And although the c-section rate has risen over the last several decades, this is more likely a side effect of our increasingly litigious and medicalized society that features older moms and women who struggle with obesity.

On Babyworld, midwife Catharine Parker-Little suggests that women talk openly with their partners during pregnancy to gauge their true opinions about attending the birth - and not to lay on a guilt trip if they decline. I couldn’t agree more. Rather than make sweeping generalizations about whether men should be in delivery rooms, we need to talk it out with our guys. Do they want to be there? If so, do they want to be down “the business end?” If not, who can better offer moms support?

Chris can’t wait to be there for the birth of our daughter – look at him with Rico – he’s a natural! But since I’m one to lay things on the table, we’ve had the birthing “talk” to different degrees over the course of my pregnancy. I’ve tried to condition him to the idea that he’ll see me in pain, that we’ll both ride an emotional rollercoaster, that he may be subjected to some grim and gore like blood, poop, placenta and stitches.

Yesterday we went to our NHS Labor and Birth ante-natal class that featured a short film showing a labouring woman taking gas and air on a birthing ball. Afterwards one of the husbands admitted that the image made him feel nauseous, and that he was “going to take some quiet times to come to terms with all that labor may entail.” We shared a laugh about this, but props to that guy and his wife for preparing for birth as a unit. He might decide to attend his child’s birth, he might not, but they were in the learning together.

From our chats, Chris is on board and prepared to be my labor partner, coach, advocate and rock. He hopes to cut the cord and be as active a participant as possible, partly why we’ve opted to attempt a home birth.

Tonight we had our first couples NCT class, which also featured the first stage of labor, including the need for a woman to relax and let her oxytocin (hormone of “love” that causes uterine contractions) flow while in labor. As a birth partner, the man is instrumental to this process; if he gets in a flap, it’s likely to kick off his wife’s adrenaline, which counteracts oxytocin production and slows labor. I hope Chris is by my side throughout labor, but learning like this helps us both recognize that it depends how he feels in the moment and if he’s able to give off positive energy in the face of his own apprehensions. If it all gets too much and he needs a breather, we accept that.

So Dr Ordent, you can take your study and shove it! Whether a dad is a birth partner should be an individual choice – not a given but not ruled out either. It’s up to couples to do their research and make the best decision for them.

Not all candy is that sweet....

I love my candy, but not when it comes as a 60 lb muddy golden retriever that barks, bites and bounds at my bump with what some might call "playful affection," but what I'd rather describe as over stimulated and uncontrolled abandon.

In between the incessant sheets of rain we've been having, Chris and I took advantage of a brief sunny spell to try out our new wellies on an afternoon stroll.  The air had that earthy post-rain smell and the fields and foliage looked particularly verdant and healthy for the middle of autumn.  It's nice to see some benefits from all this rain.

Anyways, we walked, we talked, the wind whipped our hair and the scene was serene until ARRAF, BARK, YAP!  Peace shattered in the blink of an eye as a large, excited golden retriever came running at us at full speed yapping like a banshee.

I've always been more of a dog person (though now I really love my cat Rico) and I do care for animals, but Chris is clearly the bigger animal lover of us two.  He laughs at bears on TV, sees a snake and wants a closer look and has time to say hello to whatever furry friend we might run into where I don't always feel the need.

Maybe bounding dog, aka Candy, sensed my apathy and wanted to set me straight; maybe she smelled the remnants of a date and fudge cake wrapped up in my bag - but she bypassed Chris and went straight for me, lunging towards my bump with muddy paws, yapping and snapping happily and spurring me into a sit, hush, nice dog gig as I tried to avoid her leaps.  "Chris, help me, she's going to pounce on the baby," I half grimaced through clenched teeth,  trying simultaneously to smile at this over-energized dog and acknowledge her owners, now approaching at a relaxed ramble and offering gentle scolds to their runaway pooch. 

It was a beautiful afternoon to walk a dog and let her run off her leash.  I know animals can have minds of their own and get a little over stimulated, but just like I'll be expected to pay attention to and reign in my daughter if she's causing havoc, these people could have done a little bit more to soothe and control their dog!  I don't care about the mud on my coat.  I care slightly more that she almost dislocated my ring finger when her barking mouth got a little too close to my flapping hand.  But most of all - I'm pregnant - I look pregnant - and it irritated me that Candy's owners didn't crank up their efforts to get their freaking dog off bump and me!

Maybe I sound uncaring and mean.  Maybe I sound like I don't like animals.  I do, I really do.  But come on people, if your pet is a little hyper, don't just assume that everyone is going to be as tolerant as you.  I'm not saying don't let her run free, but make sure you monitor her and make a genuine effort to deter her/remove her from the pregnant woman, or any person, that she may be bundling.  Isn't that just common courtesy?

Pineapple Anyone?!

Oh wait, sorry, you can't have any pineapple because it's in my belly or rather, my uterus.  That's right folks, this week our hefty little one should be weighing in at just over 4 lbs and is about the size of a pineapple.  My spirits raised that my 33 week fruit comparison is one that I enjoy so much; then they dipped a bit when I started picturing myself birthing something the size of a pineapple - and I still have 7 weeks to go if I'm on time!

Here's my 33 week photo - as you can see, bump is blooming more than ever.  I'm experiencing a lot of movement right below breast level.  These must be kicks since she is now in a cephalic, or head down, position according to my midwife at my appointment this afternoon.  This is the preferred position for birth so let's hope that she chills out and stays that way so she can engage in my pelvis with greater ease over the coming weeks.  Fortunately the more she fattens out, the harder it will be for her to shift.

I witnessed an example of how this "pelvic engagement" works at my first NCT ante-natal class this morning a la doll in sample pelvis so this is fresh in my mind as I write.  There are six other girls in my class and I can tell already that I'm going to enjoy them - even though I knew I was not the only one with a million questions, it is comforting, fun and supportive to chat with others at a similar stage of pregnancy in our area.  This morning was women only session and everyone was lovely; next week we have our second meeting and the guys come on board!  Classes like this and more intimate/grim pregnancy chat come a bit more naturally to women in my opinion so it will be interesting to see how all the men fare!  Hopefully Chris will not have the urge to laugh like he did at our home birth talk.

My missions for progress this coming week - start to wash her clothes in non-biological powder for sensitive baby skin (I only just learned that you are not supposed to use biological powder to start with) and pack them away in our newly acquired baby drawer unit and secondly to stop bumping into things.  I'm used to be able to squeeze through tight spaces and I just can't do it anymore without jostling someone or something with my bump!